(1) You SHOULD be fat
(2) The Zero Compensation Game
(1) You SHOULD be fat
I wrote about this a while ago in one of the most read posts I've ever had. This may not be much different just from a different place today. We had big wins at the 6-wk client assessments this week and also had some frank conversations about getting more results with some of them. And sometimes there is this sheepish head-hanging…as if they feel like they shouldn't need the continued coaching, or like just because they know what to do now, they shouldn't need help doing it. But look, nothing works for EVERYONE in terms of how they approach their fitness. It is normal to need help, coaching, and encouragement along the way. Consider the following true statements.
--->OUR WORLD IS SET UP FOR US TO BE FAT.
---> WE SHOULD BE FAT.
--->BEING HEALTHY IS NOT NORMAL. PERIOD. PARAGRAPH.
Our high stress lives and convenient cheap food availability combine to give us the most widely used drug and killers in our country. Food abuse and obesity. The sad thing is we see people everyday who say “I shouldn’t need a trainer, or I don’t know why I can’t just do this on my own.” As if their weakness is why they are struggling. They feel like its abnormal to need help and a plan!!! Its not only normal, its required. Everything around you is against you just being HEALTHY. So if we know that we *SHOULD* be fat then we know that nothing about it should make us feel like we are fitting in or normal. Quite the opposite. Everything about it makes you the outcast, the freak. Bottom line: Accept that paradigm and quit expecting to go it alone.
(2) The Zero Compensation Game
People are drawn to confidence. I am definitely drawn to confidence. Sometimes intimidated or threatened by it, but always drawn to it.
Many people make big decisions like choosing mates and making purchases based on another person's confidence above all else. Confidence is great. But its easy to confuse with ego,which is an insidious killer. Its biggest trick is that it makes you think the problem is the other people around you. From a few interactions I've had personally that kicked up enough dust in my mind that it took all day yesterday to settle, I came to a conclusion.
Many people make big decisions like choosing mates and making purchases based on another person's confidence above all else. Confidence is great. But its easy to confuse with ego,which is an insidious killer. Its biggest trick is that it makes you think the problem is the other people around you. From a few interactions I've had personally that kicked up enough dust in my mind that it took all day yesterday to settle, I came to a conclusion.
Wouldn't it be cool to be one of those people that is so accomplished, so intrinsically awesometastic that once people meet you, they have no idea what you may do, know, have done, accomplished, or stand for because you are so focused on them and grounded that none of that ever needs to come up. I love these kind of people.
There is zero compensation in their game.
I want zero compensation in my game.
And there is a reason. Yesterday I was the victim of a guy's ego and it cost the guy a good bit of potential income (that I would have paid him by becoming his client).
The main ingredient I am reminded of is that of underestimating others and confusing self-respect and confidence with pride and ego. Forgetting that we don't know what we don't know.
It seems to me that in relating to our kids, our spouse, our client, or a prospect - we're only winning if the size of our confidence and skill in relating to them is superseded by our respect for them.
I know I have treated people with less respect than they deserve. We all have. Yesterday, I was on the receiving end of somebody else's pride and ego trying to get me to become a client of theirs. Aside from the fact that on the specific topic at hand, I could have taught them more than they taught me on the subject matter, I had entertained working together because I always assume I have more to learn. I know I don't know what I don't know. Yesterday, the lack of respect came in the form of soliciting me by assuming the posture that I was a pitiful case who desperately needed their services because I was so lost and inept and needed to be whipped into shape. I was then embarrassed for them, cordial and friendly and hopefully graceful and 100% committed to never doing business no matter what. When the dust settled I realized…. you cannot win someone you do not have tremendous respect for. I realized that in my experience, its those I respected the most that have been the most successful helping. In the end, everyone helps me. There is always something to learn.
I can even relate this to Ellen Rose. We are more successful together when I remember that she has a lot to offer and that while I may have a thing or 2 to teach her, I should respect the intrinsic wisdom she can teach me. I appreciate the object lesson yesterday of what not to do. Maybe it will help you, too. Thats all I got! Anna
