10/9 ~ No idea

Per usual, no idea if I will share this or not.  Just time to start.

Which leads me to the topic of starting.  Imperfectly.  "Before you are ready."  Might be a cheesy meme I saw on Instagram, might be something deeper.  But it does seem to serve us well when if we want something to just start.

We've been talking to Ellen lately about celebrating failure. I can tell she is still not quite getting it.  Like, she is thinking...  "so if I fail this test they will be so proud????"  So we have to explain more about failing by giving 100% to something is what we cheer about.  Not failing to try.  So if you fail while you are trying...you are paying the price of entry for reaching something great.

Writing sometimes helps me start.  Its part of a wind up ritual.  For nothing in particular, just life.  Just to type what is in my head helps me start the day.  Naturally, Im wired to avoid the day on one side of my brain.  The other side has no off.  So writing helps me transition from procrastination central to the Autobahn.

Not that its all that interesting, but as I get get older and learn about things, it turns out that I've got all kinds of coping mechanisms to compensate for a slew of not-so-desirable traits I have naturally.  I've developed lots of skills that it turns out are coping mechanisms out of a strong desire to chart my own path.  And determination that anybody can do what they set out to do.  Its a sense o fairness I have to believe in.  If you get to have a better life than I do, and do the cool things I want to do just because of the luck of the draw, I just can't live with that.  I have to believe that decisions determine destinations.  We ultimately have a free will and we can end up in different places according to the wisdom of the choices we make and the wisdom in the way we make choices after the consequences.

But I digress.  My traits writing helps me transition from (and planning, and reading, and exercising, the list goes on)...most of my day is sometimes spent "preparing" which in such a strength I've developed.  Until it becomes a weakness.  But I digress again.

The traits?  That stubbornness as a kid, that rebelliousness, combined with flippant righteousness and mis-channelled energy is actually what serves me now because it forced me to find ways to organize and compensate for a multitasking addicted mind, my slanted view of the status quo (read: not wanting to fit in to what looked like a zombie like existence) and a little bit of a bipolar energy flow.  

The great news is that people really love to learn what I taught myself out of a strong stubborn desire to do it on my own.   So when folks think wow, what you do comes easily to you, that is why you do it, that is INCORRECT.  What comes easily to me is the exact opposite of what I do.  Its just a grain of sand of courage.  I think we underestimate how much it would take and avoid giving just one grain of sand's amount of courage.  It takes so much less than we think to just start.  With all of our undesirable traits.  We are so able to do so much.  None of us is more equipped than another to just start.

 And I wouldn't contribute much to anyone .... But if it weren't for that stubborn streak ;)

So what is this post about?

I have no idea.

Start, imperfectly.
Embrace failure when you've given 100%.
Leverage/ Channel strong traits towards your heart's desire.
Honor your heart's desire (AKA "Do you, boo").
People criticize Mother Theresa, they are GOING to criticize you.  Be sure you know that and chart your own path.

I try not to write so self-help-y serious stuff, but to point 4 above, its just where Im lead, and seems not to change.

So that's all I got!
~Anna