noun
:one who practices authentic badassery
On your best day, you know one very sure thing: that without a shadow of a doubt you are an authentic badass.
You know the feeling, right? I know you do. You've just forgotten it maybe. Typically, we feel it, we love it, we fear it and then WE IGNORE IT, so its mostly a memory.
Its not a mood like I once thought it was. It's also not your ego.
I am talking about that thing in you that is on the level of these folks who I think are totally authentically badass:
Mother Theresa
Ghandi
Bruce Lee
Michael Jordan
William Shakespeare
Albert Einstein
Samuel L Jackson :)
Its our inner authentic badass. Its that joyful thing that defies us to fall into the trap of doing what is expected, socially acceptable, and BORING. And I believe right there beside it is that special thing we were created to do.
And you probably know what that is. I believe its that thing that won't get out of your head and simultaneously scares you to death. And if you ever find the courage to be HONEST AND AUTHENTIC, you would admit its what you are going to go after. Then you will have to endure (in addition to your own self-doubt, negative self-talk and deepest fears) repeated and painful FAILURE.
SO that is what it is to be a practicing authentic badass. It means you will fail. ALOT. That failure will bring a plateful judgement from others that we all fear with a giant side helping of subtle disapproval and a buffet of overt discouragement.
The people who love you the most will say to you "You haven't been able to do anything like that yet, so there is no way you can do it now." They will point out every mistake and every other route that would take your further away from your dream in an effort to save you from the pain of the path you are on. Like you, they know it will be painful. Some of them are jealous. Some are threatened. Most are just scared you will get hurt.
Its so much easier to take the path of less resistance, not the path of least resistance, the path of LESS resistance. We are all guilty of this. I think most of us work hard and after we mature, we stop running from challenges. But do we not still hold back from what we REALLY WANT??
In most cases what you really want to do, what you can't get out of your head, is not socially acceptable. And in all cases its scary. People will laugh and scoff and people will talk. They will gossip. The ones closest to you especially. And when you fail, they will raise their eyebrows and think to themselves "see?"
I dont know about you, but that is one of my biggest fears. Statistics show our biggest fears are public speaking and looking foolish to others. No outlier in this girl, I get that 100%. They don't come any more sensitive and vulnerable to judgement than me.
They are the price of being authentic and believing in yourself with an authentic confidence. Being who you really are means you get to be that authentic badass everyday, but you also have to be transparent and vulnerable as well. Neither one of those things are socially acceptable because we are taught fake humility (aka "don't brag on yourself") and fake confidence (wearing confidence like a facade). THis is the opposite of what we are going to be if we are AUTHENTIC.
For example, I said a commitment out loud to my Dad at dinner a while back. Lately we've been sharing more and more personal stuff and something like "I committed to write everyday because I love it and I think I am meant to do it" is just one of those things people who don't deeply, truly love you would not remotely care about. But its also pretty vulnerable given as adults we don't tend to share our inner selves with anyone, including our parents. I felt crazy sharing that! It was just too vulnerable. So Im here fulfilling my commitment to write and noticed that just revealing that to my Dad was just more of me telling the AUTHENTIC TRUTH. And I don't think I'm alone when I say our own truth scares us to death.
Fitting social protocols and doing "whats right" instead of what we really feel starts young. A funny example is when a little kid gets a gift they hate and we insist on them pretending to like it and thank the person profusely. Awesome intentions there, but dangerous pattern being taught that
a) we are responsible for how other people feel
b) our truth is important
c) whats true should be hidden
d) pretending is good and makes others happy
the list goes on....(more in this post From Tip Toes to Steel Toed)
Being authentic means you are open to your biggest fears.
Being a badass means you are open to failure and criticism from others.
But that is normal.
I get it. The road I am on scares me. I'm terrified. I'm skeptical. It feels too big. The impact and importance of the task can feed the ego - the very same ego that will prevent any success of real value. I am also afraid of what people are saying and have said about me. I am scared the sacrifices I have made will not pay off. But I know all of that is normal.
And whatever freedoms and success I have, I have earned and I will continue to earn as long as I am doing what I am supposed to do. To keep being honest.
So whatever your goal, your background, your current circumstances, spend some time digging down to the real brilliance that is you. Be authentic, badass and vulnerable all at the same time and go for that thing you want. Whatever it is.
Thats all I got!
Anna
You know the feeling, right? I know you do. You've just forgotten it maybe. Typically, we feel it, we love it, we fear it and then WE IGNORE IT, so its mostly a memory.
Its not a mood like I once thought it was. It's also not your ego.
I am talking about that thing in you that is on the level of these folks who I think are totally authentically badass:
Mother Theresa
Ghandi
Bruce Lee
Michael Jordan
William Shakespeare
Albert Einstein
Samuel L Jackson :)
Its our inner authentic badass. Its that joyful thing that defies us to fall into the trap of doing what is expected, socially acceptable, and BORING. And I believe right there beside it is that special thing we were created to do.
And you probably know what that is. I believe its that thing that won't get out of your head and simultaneously scares you to death. And if you ever find the courage to be HONEST AND AUTHENTIC, you would admit its what you are going to go after. Then you will have to endure (in addition to your own self-doubt, negative self-talk and deepest fears) repeated and painful FAILURE.SO that is what it is to be a practicing authentic badass. It means you will fail. ALOT. That failure will bring a plateful judgement from others that we all fear with a giant side helping of subtle disapproval and a buffet of overt discouragement.
The people who love you the most will say to you "You haven't been able to do anything like that yet, so there is no way you can do it now." They will point out every mistake and every other route that would take your further away from your dream in an effort to save you from the pain of the path you are on. Like you, they know it will be painful. Some of them are jealous. Some are threatened. Most are just scared you will get hurt.
Its so much easier to take the path of less resistance, not the path of least resistance, the path of LESS resistance. We are all guilty of this. I think most of us work hard and after we mature, we stop running from challenges. But do we not still hold back from what we REALLY WANT??
In most cases what you really want to do, what you can't get out of your head, is not socially acceptable. And in all cases its scary. People will laugh and scoff and people will talk. They will gossip. The ones closest to you especially. And when you fail, they will raise their eyebrows and think to themselves "see?"
I dont know about you, but that is one of my biggest fears. Statistics show our biggest fears are public speaking and looking foolish to others. No outlier in this girl, I get that 100%. They don't come any more sensitive and vulnerable to judgement than me.
But its very simple. Nobody has ever reached their goal without enduring all of these things. They are not signals to stop. They are normal.
They are the price of being authentic and believing in yourself with an authentic confidence. Being who you really are means you get to be that authentic badass everyday, but you also have to be transparent and vulnerable as well. Neither one of those things are socially acceptable because we are taught fake humility (aka "don't brag on yourself") and fake confidence (wearing confidence like a facade). THis is the opposite of what we are going to be if we are AUTHENTIC.
Fitting social protocols and doing "whats right" instead of what we really feel starts young. A funny example is when a little kid gets a gift they hate and we insist on them pretending to like it and thank the person profusely. Awesome intentions there, but dangerous pattern being taught that
a) we are responsible for how other people feel
b) our truth is important
c) whats true should be hidden
d) pretending is good and makes others happy
the list goes on....(more in this post From Tip Toes to Steel Toed)
Being authentic means you are open to your biggest fears.
Being a badass means you are open to failure and criticism from others.
But that is normal.
I get it. The road I am on scares me. I'm terrified. I'm skeptical. It feels too big. The impact and importance of the task can feed the ego - the very same ego that will prevent any success of real value. I am also afraid of what people are saying and have said about me. I am scared the sacrifices I have made will not pay off. But I know all of that is normal.
And whatever freedoms and success I have, I have earned and I will continue to earn as long as I am doing what I am supposed to do. To keep being honest.
So whatever your goal, your background, your current circumstances, spend some time digging down to the real brilliance that is you. Be authentic, badass and vulnerable all at the same time and go for that thing you want. Whatever it is.
Thats all I got!
Anna
