Elephants in every post

Am I the only one that feels like life is like a freight train!?  Stopping to write out what I want and also what I think is time consuming and so the "things that aren't getting done" while I am writing are like giant elephants in the room while I write (what is my deal with elephants--maybe I should slide elephants in every post, just for fun, but I digress).

When you look at who/where you are and who/where you want to be in life, you notice elephants.  Ha! No, Im kidding I edited that in to entertain myself.  You notice a lot that otherwise would be zooming by you.  It's a great feeling. Going back thinking about 5 years ago what is different?  What is the same? Like Lucy, my pit bull mix is 20 pounds heavier and has about 20 times the grey hairs she did 5 years ago but she sits in the same spot in the kitchen while Mike cooks.  But, Mike standing there and cooking while I type-that hasn't changed:)  It will be a sad day when that changes.

Also-
...we discovered that a $4 vase of fresh flowers keeps for over 2 weeks and is worth it in the kitchen so thats there.  Five years ago, I had indoor plants everywhere because everyone who is trying to be domestic does that but I've learned that my house is where plants come to die :/

...my hair is very short now instead of pulled up in a knot on top of my head.  I think thats a late 30s woman thing.

...I think about fitness ALOT less now because I am usually focused on other people's fitness.  And my reasons have changed in alot of way and in alot of ways they are exactly the same.  But I am heading back to where I was in my fitness mission 5 years ago, but have learned new things that make those goals even sweeter now and for different (and better in my opinion) reasons.  Nothing is worse than a fitness goal without and heart-moving reason.  Peeling back the layers and finding that reason that has nothing to do with one other person but the one that is driven by such a deep love of yourself is where the real work in your fitness journey is.  The rest is just conforming to other's ideas.  People who in many cases don't even know you.

But what is the same is that I am learning that a lot of the lessons I learned after my Mom died I am relearning and Im gaining confidence and peace through that pain.  I know one day if I get to be an old lady, all of these pains and hurts, discoveries, joys and experiences will give me wisdom and peace.  Just like losing her did.

Looking at who I am and who I want to be and where I want to be, something jumped out to me a few posts down...in many ways I am where I want to be.  I am so glad I stopped to think about it.  Its the same lesson I learned when Mom passed away, that sweetness and preciousness of life, family and friends that really are right there in front of your eyes.  I think about how lucky I am to have the family I have and know, unequivocally how much they love me and take time to show that to me.  Thats not a given in this life, I know.  I think about how lucky I am to have Mike and how much he loves me and teaches me or about a child that makes me face myself and get better everyday.  I think about the other blessings in my work and how I get to be a part of a special catalyst that actually changes people's lives for the better in ways that will never leave them and I am humbled.

OK got serious.  So before I go....ELEPHANTS! :)

Anna