Part 5 of 6 - The KO punch and kick while I was down

Finally, let's get to the whole point of this.  Pain has a purpose and it is to teach.   I have to believe this.

I imagine this story will for sure inspire HOPE.  If you have never been without hope, count yourself as fortunate and enjoy the ride of the story.  If you do know what loss of hope for a future looks and feels like, I hope this makes you feel like you are not alone. 


We hear of other's misfortunes, and wonder what its like to walk through that.  We imagine what it feels like, and how we might handle what someone else is having to deal with.   We aren't accustomed to people really sharing what it was like.  


Which is a shame.  Its probably why people in pain feel so ALONE.   

How does a person whose life is to be a student of excellence, mental fortitude and focus, teaching others to overcome obstacles and champion progress, find themselves down on the mat, and not getting back up? 


Here is what the next punch looked and felt like.

While uncomfortable, not just from the heat but the shooting pains down my legs, I had a good time socializing with all the golfers, laughing and cutting like I love to do.  For a good cause no less!


I worked 8 hours on my feet and then broke it down.  I couldn't feel my legs by the time I loaded my SUV and drove home.  But I called Dad on my way home.  I was always calling him to cheer me up.   I knew he was traveling and excited to be heading fishing.   I was very focused on helping him unravel what was happening with him and supporting his efforts and our mission - TO GET HIM WELL.  We were also just very accustomed to checking in.  So nothing out of the ordinary.  


I passed out when I got home (I had overdone by any measure) and woke to a horrific scene.


My family was by my bed waking me saying over and over through tears and sobs, "your Dad passed away" over and over....


They were in hysterics that Dad has passed away the night before about 5 hours after we spoke.  I think I shut down.  And I think I stayed that way.

Since then I have been unsure of the ground beneath my feet. 


Nothing that comes next is simple, easy, enjoyable, or helpful for the person doing it.  Now to plan a funeral, try to manage a semblance of life and be the executor of an estate while I confront a void so deep and vast I could  not comprehend it.  

So much about taking over someone's entire life as the constant reminder that they are no longer there is part cruelty and part honor, and something I have never found the words for.   

Holding his favorite shoes, his watch, the cufflinks I remember from when I was a little girl.  Everything that was him, now with no home.  His favorite things, things he was proud of, things he enjoyed buying and the things he wore and used constantly.  Especially his favorite things.  The voicemails on my phone - millions of those. The dinners no longer being planned, cancelling the beachhouse he had already rented for us, and reading the last text message he sent knowing there was no one at the end of that line anymore.


It was the knockout punch.  I am still very much grieving and miss my Dad every day.  Some days are much happier than others but the void takes my breath away, even in all the blessings I am swimming in.  I will not dishonor him, or myself by pretending otherwise.

From the date of losing Dad, I then received the head smashing kick while I was down, as I said "on the mat" contemplating the ground beneath me, fighting hard to get up but not managing to do it.  


In 6 months time from that event, that business I built that was my saving grace was absorbed by the contractor I had partnered with for 9 years and loyally poured myself into.  The residual income I as enjoying and the lifetime residual income I was promised was eliminated in a 15 minute zoom call with the CEO.  


And I am not one to compare loss, but when the magnitude of loss is so substantial, it gives...well, perspective for someone who has not experienced this level of loss cannot possibly have on the pain that comes with it.  The massive void.  It goes beyond comprehension.  It makes you not want to live with it and question if its worth it to do so.  I wish I had never had to walk this path.  I thought you could "mental toughness" your way out of any mindset, and into your next best chapter, no matter what.


I lost that belief.  And with it, hope.

Did I feel sorry for myself? You bet I did.  I was already in a rough spot, in pain and depressed, and then I lost my favorite cheerleader and then I lost our family's primary income.

Was I able to see there may be brighter days ahead?  Nope.

Seeing myself from the outside and being a person of such mental fortitude and yet being so powerless over the series of events from 40-45 years old, was and has been incredible humbling.  


I was someone who before would have assumed I would have walked these last 5 years completely differently.  I would have expected "more and better" from myself.  I didn't overcome like I wanted to.   Like I would wish that others would be able to.  

Deep down, I do want the world to be fair.  


It most certainly is not. 

For someone who is control of themselves and their mindset as a way of life, this has been a tough pill to swallow.   But pride is worthless anyway, so as far as Im concerned hopefully it is dead and I can move on without it.  

So, I share this to share the message I will share for the rest of my life.  And why COVID-19 and the economy and other things that are the biggest things in the lives of so many, still remain in the distance for me.  It's just my perspective.  The most recent chapter of this story goes like this....

6 RULES FOR SELLING WITHOUT SLEAZE

AKA “Selling Well”

Rule #1:
In order to sell well, you must 100% believe that what you are suggesting is the best option for this person.  You must believe in your product and in their future satisfaction with this product.  Your victory must NOT be in the sale, but in their complete estatic satisfaction with the purchase for a good time period down the road.

Rule #2:
Sales people are paid a percentage of the sale price of what they sell and that leads to salesperson guilt.  The words are "I feel like Im making money off of people."  Well remember they want to spend their money... they don't go to work in order to never spend it - or they wouldn't be talking to you.

You earn money from the company for your service, not from the buyer.  Remember that.

Also - The problem is that if you sell them more, you make more.  And if its not what they wanted in order to meet their needs as they told them to you, then you are that sleazy salesperson.

This is 100% avoided when you make no attempt to sell anything until you've listened to 3 things.  Wrote these down and love by them. What do they want/need-what problem are they trying to solve?  Why?  And here is the 3rd thing that will remove any feelings of "making money off of people"... ask them whats important for them in buying X.  (X is what they are looking to buy from you).

Now if you meet their needs regardless of the commission it may or may NOT provide to you, your honesty and integrity acts like a magnet and you find big JOY in providing your help and you have a quality paycheck.  Fullfilment and success.  They MUST go hand in hand!

Rule #3:
Do not attach yourself to the outcome of the buyer's decision to buy or not.  Truly!  This makes everyone so comfortable.  When you listen with all 3 steps above, and a goal to provide the experience and recommendation that truly is the best for them and leave their decision up to them without feeling the need to convince - you find the right people find you and the window shoppers love you even if they leave you!  Its a win - win approach.

Rule #4:
For those people who do say yes and the company compensates you, recognize the trust the customer put in you and do something that you find fun for them as a means of thank you.  The psychological benefits of doing this are hard to explain, but you will find it much easier to to stay in the healthy and helpful mindset by doing this.

Rule #5:
Acquire skills.  You are not born to sell.  Its a skill not a talent. Sales is not the same as "convincing"...if this is your method, then I am going to be the first to tell you the bad news...you are the sleazy salesperson.

I had someone tell me "you're such a great salesperson" and because I felt like it was delivered with an eyeroll I felt it was as if I had been called sleazy.  But the truth of the matter is, I've worked hard to be a good sales person.  And it cost money and mistakes and Im proud of being someone others can trust.  If I can learn, then anyone with a desire to have their own company or sell in any capacity can.

Rule #6:
Whatever you believe right now is why you think you cannot sell.  So get out your pen and start writing.

What do you have to believe to have fun and be confident selling to others?

Write it down.

If you read it everyday it will slowly override what you are currently thinking that is holding you back.

Spoiler alert:  This works for me in every aspect of life.  100% of the time. I believe it will work for you too!

And remember, the more fun you have, the more money you make!

Comment or DM me  if this was helpful on FB - search @uncommonoptimism or ig @i_am_annasmith

Salespeople are not SLEAZY & BTW... YOU ARE ONE.

Recently I was invited to teach a sales team of about a dozen people lead by a high ranking leader on selling.  This is a really goofy picture of us getting started.

The reason I am smiling so big is that I love to teach on selling because the whole reason I went to graduate school was because the only jobs available to me upon graduation were sales jobs and sales jobs!  So I took out a loan!!!!  I told everyone, "I am not afraid to work, but I do not want to sell".

And here I am teaching sales.

The journey from there to here is for another time.  For now, let me share the ins and outs of why you can sell well.

The preface to this "class" was the concept that you are already in sales.

In fact if you are reading this you are probably in your mind constructing a case for why you are NOT a salesperson!  You're mentally selling me.

Ever made a case for anyone that something should go a certain way, be put a certain place, a certain purchase should be made, or a certain food ordered?  The list is endless.

You sell all day.

You are selling your life choices to your parents, your feelings to your significant other, your need for your roommate to clean up after themselves, your need for a week off to your boss, even your needs to take steps to YOURSELF!  You are selling your political views, your opinions, your perspectives, your points of view on everything you do in nearly all of your interactions.

Also, you LOVE to spend your money.  People work ALOT and that is to have their basic needs met, yes.  But really, its to BUY STUFF!!  In some cases just for the sport of it.  Whether or not you think that is right or wrong, it is true.

And that leads us to rule #1 of selling well.  All 6 rules are in the next post.

First lets define "SELL WELL":
To help person get what they already want and enjoy the process.

THINK ABOUT THAT.

It’s not convincing, using gimmicks, or anything else anyone would not be proud to do!

Example:  Have you ever walked away with a purchase and been so thankful for the help you received you felt ingratiated to the sales person?  This is our goal.  An experience of value, and service!  There is really nothing more fun if you ask me.

Terminator

Every day (nearly) I read my goals.

Then, here’s a weird thing I do - I often read them in reverse.  So that the last one doesn't just get scanned over.  Goal fairness?

But the one that jumped off the page at me today was this one.  Because I have spent 10s of thousands of dollars on training, invested time and have acquired experience that is priceless and that can save others so much in terms of time and money.

I see people wanting to earn more, add a side hustle or pursue a dream and I then I see the EXACT same mistakes I made.  And it pains me!  I know I can save people massive time and money and to see someone flourish and overcome their own mindset in addition to give them practical tools...well, I definitely find my personal joy and fulfillment in that.  So this is the uncrated real life experience that money can't buy.

So here are the exact word I read daily.

In addition, I am aiming to help the person this resonates with.

The goal is to inspire others to build their incomes by focusing on building themselves mentally and physically.  I believe that so many people out there are like me.  They have mountains of potential inside but aren't reaching it because they are fuzzy, lethargic, and lack the vitality for life to feel like they can pour themselves out enough to increase their income.  Income is ENERGY.  In order to build more, you need more energy, clarity and joy.  Or at least that is there person I want to help.

I firmly believe that if you focus on your fitness, your skills and your mental game, you will automatically see that spill over into your work, whatever that is.

And what is funny, maybe no haha funny, but ironic about this, is Im not a naturally energetic, organized, or high performing person.  So I've had to learn and practice and learn.  And maybe I've felt like an underdog in life and I've overcome.  So I might be pulled to that person as well.

At least I have ALOT.. more than ALOT of things I have to do in order to do what brings me joy and have a fulfilling vocation.   I went from 2.0 in college to a 4.0 in a tough graduate program, very and landing a job where I went to the top of my pay garden my position in 4 short years.  I then launched not one but 2 successful businesses, and reached goals that were once far off dreams in other areas of life to reach.  I want to share that with the person who feels they have more to offer but feels like its out of their reach.

I've spent alot of time feeling like things were out of my reach.  Alot of mindset things still plague me and probably always will.  But I know in my heart I was ut here for a reason and so were you.  I also know that I can bring people on this journey starting from ground zero again and inspire them to move away from their ground zero.

For me, my former company changed their business model and my 10 years of developing people, systems and customer service was lost as the company absorbed my business and my paycheck went from thousands a month to hundreds.

So, if that resonates, whats your ground zero?  Do you want to follow along with me as I rebuild and lets focus on the things that make us our best, which automatically triggers success in other areas?

PS...got new sunglasses....do I look like the terminator?  Kinda feeling like it today! Let me hear from you??

If you want to Comment— I know these are turned off— please comment  on IG @i_am_annasmith or FB search: @uncommonoptimism.  I AM LISTENING!!!

Pivot towards your FULL POTENTIAL

There was a pivot that happened for me well before Corona virus and that I've seen happen for many others over the course of decades of working with people on personal development. ⁣
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Its the moment when they realize that EVERYTHING is about what they are put here to do. Then magic seems to happen and the next realization is that EVERYTHING rises and falls on taking what we have all been given, a body, a mind, and a spirit, and investing in that, so that it grows. With massive intention. Because bodies minds and spirits don't grow without massive intention. They atrophy. And if they atrophy, they are not healthy.⁣

⁣There are millions (I am guessing) of reasons not to invest in one of these 3 aspects of our given birthrights.  Habit, assumptions, and just ignorance are the biggest reasons that I have seen.  Lots of folks think of building and growing their physical body, knowing it will atrophy and be unhealthy otherwise, but growing our brains and our mental health/emotional health seem to be a ignored by habit and the assumption that we are born healthy in these areas so no intention or investment is needed.  Just the body.

I have seen over and over when someone puts as much energy as it takes to learn, act, learn, try, and learn some more to become as physically fit, mentally fit, and emotionally fit as they can, their whole lives take a shape that looks alot like their dreams.

I find it hard to argue with the opinion that these 3 areas of "fitness" would happen without massive effort and intention.

I have heard that humans are the only living thing that will choose not to reach their full potential.  A tree always grows as tall as it can...reaches it full potential.  And humans are not happy, satisfied, content, unless they are doing the same.

So it follows that if the default setting if we are not intentionally building, developing and growing our body, mind and spirit is an unhealthy body, and unhealthy mind, and an unhealthy spirit, then its no wonder we are not reaching our full potential. 

Without this massive intention and focus on developing these 3 things, it seems that the common denominators are:

• lethargy
• guilt
• procrastination
• comparison
• hopelessness
• neediness
• anger
• fear
• anxiousness
• sadness
• apathy
• avoidance
• disinterest

And if you believe or are entertaining believing you are here for a purpose, its pretty impossible to imagine moving anywhere NEAR that purpose in these states.  Or being someone who is mentally, physically or emotionally unhealthy. 

Anthony Robbins teaches alot about state and I have found it to be impossible to disprove.  

According to Tony: “The state that you're in at any given moment determines your perceptions of reality and thus your decisions and behavior. In other words, your behavior is not the result of your ability, but of the state that you're in at this moment.”

If you change your state you change your actions and that sets you on a different path.  Investing in these 3 things is like an insurance policy for the best possible state you can be in.  The rest flows from there.

Ignore the physical, you're not healthy.
Ignore the mental, you're not healthy.
Ignore the emotional / spiritual, you're not healthy.

The unrest is there, it may have just been there is a blind spot for us in one of these three areas that when we realize we were ignoring - CHANGES EVERYTHING!

Theres an old story about Rosa Parks I read where she was asked if she meant to start a Revolution, and she replied something like  - I wasn't looking to start a revolution.  I didn't know what everyone else was doing, I just knew what I was doing.  

It struck a cord with me years ago, and I've found that to be one heck of a guiding light.  I mean there is massive power in not caring what "everyone else" is doing.  Unless you are cheering them on. 

So what may seem normal is to pay a little attention to physical, some people seem to care about growing mentally, and some do some emotional health stuff "if they need it."  But no need to be obsessed.

I actually think you should become obsessed. 

EVERYTHING changes when we began to focus on physical, mental, and emotional and spiritual health with this kind of focus. The greatest improvements in life for me (and I observe thousands more) is in the clarity and purpose that comes from a radical focus on building your own "house." 

I think of it as pouring into my foundation, and then it makes everything else stronger because its built on something strong.

Emotionally and Spiritually - pouring into the things that support hope and mental health - committing to read/study on faith, pray, journal, meditate, therapy, there are so many options. The only option is no intention plan.

Mentally - pouring into learning EVERYTHING that our curiosity is piqued about.  Grabbing different sources, using the best ones we can find and being willing to be bad at something before we are good!  Almost everything we want to know or do is a matter of learning how and if there is nothing we cannot learn. 

Physically - pouring time and energy and resources into finding and learning the answers to get fit and grow in health.

The overriding approach is that NO amount of time or energy is too much in these areas.  Because it pays exponential dividends in all other areas, AND because its impossible to be like that tree and grow to our "full height" without first being healthy in these 3 areas.

If you are not improving your mental health, its not a given AT ALL.  
If you are not investing in your mental health its not growing, and its not healthy.  
And mentally unhealthy people do not reach their potential. 
Physically unhealthy people do not either.

Over and over, when the focus on these 3 things increases, the improvement in all the areas of life is guaranteed!

Relationships

Work

Success

Daily joy

Satisfaction

Productivity

Service
Purpose

This is where "UnCommon Optimism" comes from.  Knowing that every single person can choose to build on what they were given to get unstuck and reach their full potential gives me optimism I can't find anywhere else!

Thats all I got!
~Anna

Writing the next chapter....

In the last couple of weeks we have a couple 100 new people here 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼⁣

Whether you’re new here or not you may not know you’re following what I hope is a comeback story⁣.
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As a former gym owner and recently laid off social networking leader, the world has been, as they say my oyster as I found myself back to square 1 less than a year ago. ⁣
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And I began at square 1 at an all time physical and mental low when a 15 minute phone call removed my entire business Id built through nearly 2 decades of long hours. ⁣
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So what you do? You learn, adapt and pivot. ⁣
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And if you’re me you invite people on a journey of rebuilding. ⁣
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Knowing I’ve gained knowledge, skills, and most important of all FRIENDS through serving customers and building teams.⁣
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Im not made to sit and I won’t sit. So a small plan for the next chapter has come together. What is it?⁣
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Going on facts…⁣
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-I love the opportunity to make a difference for people to feel better and do more in their lives as well as their finances/business.⁣
- I no longer believe in just a product or service business but believe in having both.⁣
-I know I can give killer service to people and help them get started by giving credibility to a trustworthy product or service.⁣
-I know I can teach and train people to reach their goals.⁣
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The focus on my time is pioneering a new industry and has been grassroots. 

WE ARE CREATING A TEAM OF PEOPLE GETTING THE MOST FROM EXCEPTIONAL QUALITY CBD PHYSICALLY AND FINANCIALLY. 

CBD is something that I’ve used and loved that would allow me to do better. 

I am nearly 100 customer strong and a few entrepreneurial spirited teammates strong in a pretty short time. I have a goal of 300 customers and 5 teammates this year and I am excited to see where that goes!⁣

On the service side ... Ive invested in myself and I am learning to grow that business using social networking with new skills and I am excited to share with people what I've learned, once I've tested the skills because I see a HUGE need.⁣
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I want to include people on this journey as I am truly starting from SCRATCH.... except, I have⁣
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- a whole bunch of experience⁣
- a whole bunch of lessons⁣
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I can use what I've learned to do what I know works and adjust and pivot with the market to grow along with the changes! ⁣
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Trying new things and being willing to fail is the best path to success. So here I go. Im sure there will be more to come.⁣
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Thank you for being here and I hope this gives you an accurate picture on where I am when it comes to the “what’s next” side of things for those that want to know!⁣
oxoxoxoxox⁣
~Anna

Anxiety and Paralysis of Analysis

Have you ever noticed that if you aren't in the right place mentally you also suffer physically and vice versa?

Your Environment is EVERYTHING!

When I say environment, I'm not just referring to where you are geographically. I'm referring to your mental, physical, and emotional environment.

What is your mental environment like? Have you developed a positive, productive, and proactive mental environment? Do you take responsibility for where you are right now?

What is your physical environment like? Are you dedicated to eating clean? Training Hard Consistently? Do you drink enough water? Do you get enough rest?

The same questions can be applied to your Emotional Environment.

If any of the 3 are out of whack, you will have trouble achieving happiness, success, balance, and so on.

Sometimes before you can move forward, you have to go backward. What I mean by that is you need to understand why you do what you do. Why you think what you think. Why you feel the way you feel. And then understand that these things are in your direct control.

Control your Environments. Choose to be in a good place.

Life is too short to live reactively. Take responsibility for where you are right now, and then CHOOSE to make the correct changes.

Action alleviates anxiety.

Its all in your head.

Thats all I got!  Have a great weekend,
Anna :)