Worth

SO turns out the best 2 places, wait 3, for me are in the shower, during yoga (when my mind is supposed to be clear, but I also like to assess the toe hair situation and predicted time to the next pedicure so safe to say I have a lot of work to do in the clear your mind department) and then in the middle of the night when Im trying to go back to sleep after letting Zeke, our puppy, out.

When is your best time to think?  Or to have ideas?  Its worth knowing.  Maybe its an idea for your next family vacation.  Your solution to your laundry room clutter.  Or for what you're going to wear to that job interview.  If you believe people have specific purpose then you have to believe that we are given inklings...gut feelings.  And I think we all ignore them too much.

And with good reason.  Life does a pretty great job of discouraging you from making investments in the unknown and we are all so time strapped, there is an effort to conserve time.  So, its easier to not go through the trouble.  

I think this ties in with my post on "The Cost of Tired" 4 posts down ~  we are just to tired to try!!!

But I find that if you will value yourself enough to create the space, to deal with the mental, to care for the physical, and fix your perspective on learning.  That you are worth learning what your inklings are trying to tell you (or teach you through possible failure).

So this was the thought in yoga yesterday and I got in the car and scribbled this into my notes on my phone because I went for awhile without moving enough.  It began with some body pain and weight gain and spiraled into a bit of a depression (not the kind where you are sad, just not motivated, curious, and productive) which led to more pain and so I was reminded of what I discovered the first time I got strong and fit 15 years ago ... movement is a strong anti-depressant.  its worth whatever you need to do to make it happen everyday.  And then if you are not joyful you are less inclined to go through the trouble to identify needs and give.  And if you are not joyful, you do less and you live with an unsettled, itchiness in your mind and heart that comes from that. Much like a dog.  Dogs need work and purpose and movement to be happy and healthy.  So do we.  And then the last line, well it just came and it makes sense.  

There is no joy without movement

There is no peace without giving

There is no rest without Work

There is no life without love. 

So give your self, your inklings and gut feelings all your attention.  And take the actions you need to find the desire to work enthusiastically and empty your mind and body doing something that matters.  

You’re worth it. 

The Sleeping Giant

I believe time is the key.  Like a sleeping giant, it's often overlooked and underestimated.  It started in college when I read Steven Coveys 7 Habits.  There began a fascination with the game of TIME.

It's not really a talent I've noticed but a learned skill. Like handwriting. Nobody just writes, we all have to learn it. And without it, we are wildly handicapped to achieve that thing gnawing at us.

I think it's goal suicide to say "oh, I'm just not good at that" or "oh, I need to work on that...someday"

Because time...it's the neutralizer.   It's our greatest asset and our greatest prize. Every goal we have either centers around saving time, or the freedom to choose how we experience or spend our time our time.  And it requires specific use of present time to have any hope of influencing future time. Treating time like a wave you can just ride and expect it to end somewhere ahead of where we are now is like throwing a penny in the ocean and expecting it not to tend up lost at the bottom of the sea.

I've noticed that whatever the goal, the most success and progress goes to the person that wakes up keenly aware of the goals and how today's time will be spent to inch closer to that goal.  Focusing on mastering time management allowed me to more than quadruple my paycheck in the last 3 years and spend more time with family, at church and on fun. It's allowed me to have time to volunteer, increase my time reading exercising and parenting.  Time freedom for me is the sweetest nectar of life.   Life is short and I don't want to float through precious days and end up "somewhere" I did not plan. That's a recipe for sad in my book.

I'm 100% convinced the the most important skill worth acquiring is time management.  And having a goal for that time.

I'm committed to getting better and to controlling where my time goes so I can continue to chose how my free time is spent and how much time freedom I have. I hope this encouragement helps others as we get the fun, fresh, clean  slate of the new year. It's exciting and fun for me and my mind is rolling with thoughts like this and I'm excited to see what lies ahead...

The Upside to Overeating Yesterday

Hello!
Most likely you are reading this because you liked my post and you were interested in figuring out what on earth you can do today to offset yesterday's less-than-stellar eating.

GOOD NEWS!

I have some tips I came across years ago when I literally ate, read, slept and lived fitness literature 24/7.  Being a student of nutrition and fitness led to my career path in fitness and birthed a love for helping educate others!  Its al about demystifying!  So I wanted to share that here.

First, sorry for the delay - I have a daughter who was --oh-so-unfortunately awoken with a virus that would have required a trashcan (read:vomit, sorry!) if we had known at 3am and has had a fever every since so after getting her settled and 2 loads of laundry I fell asleep around 6am and meant to have this out sooner!

Thats ok tho because #life right???

SO here are the tips -

#1) Lucky you!  You overate!  But there is something that you can do to leverage that if overeating has you feeling derailed, guilty, depressed, remorseful or all of the above.  The good news is your metabolism is literally flying!  You added coals to the fire, so to speak.  So lets utilize your wicked fast metabolism in your favor by doing something easy.  Lets eat when we are hungry and lets eat the foods that offer these 4 golden points for your metabolism:
-the highest nutrition
-the highest keep you full factor AKA "satiety"
-stoke your metabolism and keep your body in fat burning mode.
-reverse cravings

These two foods are protein and fiber.  Protein is found in lean meats and fish as well as some fat free dairy such as fat free cheese and low sugar greek yogurt.  Clean protein supplements are also a super easy solution to this.

This may be implied but I will say it... if you want to leverage that metabolism, go ahead and throw out leftover cookies and treats, and don't eat the proteins and fibers that are coupled with sugar as in greek yogurt with sugar or a high fiber but also high sugar muffin, etc.  Sugar has the opposite of the 4 points above and will work against you!!

#2) As for fiber - don't over complicate - just eat fruits and vegetables with your lean protein today!  And don't worry about the "sugar in fruit"...  just eat fruits and vegetables... trust me.  Nobody ever got fat eating lean protein fruits and vegetables...thats my mantra! :)  And again - if you have fiber supplements on hand - hey hit those 4 golden points above so that works too.

#3) Enough water is not enough.  So there is this thing about what is "a lot" of water or "enough" water.  Well, here is the thing about your body.  It just adapts to whatever you give it.  So whatever YOU personally drink, make a game to try and increase that by at least 1/2 today!  trust me!  The 4 golden points above will rewards you!!!

#4)  SO you have amazing fuel for movement with yesterdays eating.  So hey - put it to use!  get up and get out!  Whatever you usually do... add to it!  Add a walk!  Already walking?  Add a lap!  Going shopping?  Awesome-thats a killer calorie burner!  Working out?  Add reps, time, or both - just a little!  And then add something else.  Maybe play in the back yard a minute.  Maybe stand at your computer.  In an office?  Take the stairs and use the bathroom 2 floors away.


The result is a sense of AMAZING pride.  The realization that you really didn't do irreversible damage and a big dose of understanding that a few small do-ABLE things added up can make a huge difference.

Thanks for reading!

Anna
PS ~ Doing this today along with my personal location in my fitness journey added to the launch of a transformation program through AdvoCare has inspired me to ask:  if I journaled -slash - coached our 180 Tribe here - would that be helpful?  I've always loved to educate and coach in writing and in person - and here I could do videos ... it offers the interaction of the comments for conversation...

or we could do this on FB.

Or maybe its not needed at all!

Im open to ideas, needs and thoughts.

And IM READY to transform.  I've done if before and taken dear friends with me and Im ready to do it again and take an army.

COMMENT your thoughts in the message that you received this because comments are disabled here for now.

oxoxox, A

The Cost of Tired

Up at 6am on a Sunday and a house that is pretty quickly empty and quiet.  A whole day (and week ahead) to do whatever I want.  Thats been a new normal.

Actually we all have a lot of time.  Ellen has taken up professional slime making (and sometime videoing) and Mike is always doing a project and resting and getting his daily Zeke and exercise fix.

Doesn't it sound wonderful?  You’d think so but check this out.  It has me noticing the guilt/struggle/tension we are associating with this time.  We are always asking and wondering .. is it ok if I sit here?  Should we make Ellen do something else? Should I get up and do something productive?  How much rest and recreation is too much?

How we view ourselves is powerful I think.  And how we view others.  I tend to criticize myself so much that it flows into my view of everyone.  But tis true what they say.  What we see in others is how we see ourselves.  That is a nasty jagged little pill to swallow but I humbly swallow the whole thing with belief and guilt.

So I realize now that its always lack of time and money that make us say "well if I had the time or money to do XYZ,  I would/it would/this would...insert some form of solve all the worlds problems here"  But when you actually have the things you coveted in the past, you can struggle with it.  Because .... Now how to do you measure yourself?  We measure our worth with busyness, achievement (including our kids achievement), and martyrdom.  That is a mouthful so read that again.  What if when we are less busy, or have achieved something, or no longer have to throw ourselves on our swords for some calling, or have great kids, we get space.  Now the question is what to do with the new space.  The super deep question that I realize took my breath when I wrote it is then what do we measure ourselves with?

That is more than a mouthful.  I don't think I can touch that question with a 10 foot pole.  NO wonder we subconsciously stay wrapped in the warm security of lack, no choice, and invisible to the radar of that question.

See, busyness, achievement, and martyrdom are very addictive. And they give an enormous security because they prevent chaos.  The chaos that is coming if I fail to show up, reach the goal, or save the person. These 3 things bring with them a sense of purpose, and lots of racing thoughts, which occupy our brains and clarify for us what is next.  In many ways they take the pressure off of us.  And they eliminate the judgement and guilt that come from having the things we are pursuing. So I think deep down we can avoid the solutions, because we (maybe?) know that they bring with them the clarity/self worth measurement problem.

So here is what I will say, I want to give people this problem.  If you think I was deep before, put on your diving gear....

If you and I are as uniquely gifted as I think we are, and we have special, one of a kind talents and are meant to live a life of sharing those talents and doing our thing on this earth....  have you noticed what happens to you when you're in the chaos prevention space?  Those things are in the backseat because your purpose is not driven by discovering and sharing them with people, its in our ability to sacrifice and achieve.

In a practical sense, I believe in the parenting of the kids we are currently raising to restore and strengthen the family and the power of entrepreneurship to bolster and strengthen our nation are at stake.  Lack of time and money are an epidemic that are robbing us.  And they come with them an addictive feeling of worth as we strive to eliminate them both.  I believe you and I have very important things to do.  And I can't do the important thing you need to do and vice versa.  But until we have space to discover those things, because we are secure and comfortable as long as we are time and money strapped and our energy is used just preventing chaos, then our energy is not used contributing.  Its like having a foot you want to walk on, but its always casted from injury.  Its there just not able to be used for what its meant to be used for just yet.

So, guess Im wondering what the cost of tired is for us?  I wonder does waking up exhausted and distracted by chaos prevention cause us as parents to miss those strengths, interests, gifts, and needs in their kids and so they can't cultivate them?  Do we miss those things in ourselves so they never know themselves which means are we passing over tremendous gifting they could be to their kids because they are just so darn tired?  What about the local community leader?  The next inventor?  Or great educator?  Are the really good ones out there but Is their distraction and lack of time and energy preventing them from doing that great thing that only they can do?

This has me thinking lately about "The Cost of Tired" and I wanted to share it.  Maybe we are not preventing chaos with busyness, achievement and martyrdom, maybe we are preventing greatness?

Happy Sunday,

Anna

10/9 ~ No idea

Per usual, no idea if I will share this or not.  Just time to start.

Which leads me to the topic of starting.  Imperfectly.  "Before you are ready."  Might be a cheesy meme I saw on Instagram, might be something deeper.  But it does seem to serve us well when if we want something to just start.

We've been talking to Ellen lately about celebrating failure. I can tell she is still not quite getting it.  Like, she is thinking...  "so if I fail this test they will be so proud????"  So we have to explain more about failing by giving 100% to something is what we cheer about.  Not failing to try.  So if you fail while you are trying...you are paying the price of entry for reaching something great.

Writing sometimes helps me start.  Its part of a wind up ritual.  For nothing in particular, just life.  Just to type what is in my head helps me start the day.  Naturally, Im wired to avoid the day on one side of my brain.  The other side has no off.  So writing helps me transition from procrastination central to the Autobahn.

Not that its all that interesting, but as I get get older and learn about things, it turns out that I've got all kinds of coping mechanisms to compensate for a slew of not-so-desirable traits I have naturally.  I've developed lots of skills that it turns out are coping mechanisms out of a strong desire to chart my own path.  And determination that anybody can do what they set out to do.  Its a sense o fairness I have to believe in.  If you get to have a better life than I do, and do the cool things I want to do just because of the luck of the draw, I just can't live with that.  I have to believe that decisions determine destinations.  We ultimately have a free will and we can end up in different places according to the wisdom of the choices we make and the wisdom in the way we make choices after the consequences.

But I digress.  My traits writing helps me transition from (and planning, and reading, and exercising, the list goes on)...most of my day is sometimes spent "preparing" which in such a strength I've developed.  Until it becomes a weakness.  But I digress again.

The traits?  That stubbornness as a kid, that rebelliousness, combined with flippant righteousness and mis-channelled energy is actually what serves me now because it forced me to find ways to organize and compensate for a multitasking addicted mind, my slanted view of the status quo (read: not wanting to fit in to what looked like a zombie like existence) and a little bit of a bipolar energy flow.  

The great news is that people really love to learn what I taught myself out of a strong stubborn desire to do it on my own.   So when folks think wow, what you do comes easily to you, that is why you do it, that is INCORRECT.  What comes easily to me is the exact opposite of what I do.  Its just a grain of sand of courage.  I think we underestimate how much it would take and avoid giving just one grain of sand's amount of courage.  It takes so much less than we think to just start.  With all of our undesirable traits.  We are so able to do so much.  None of us is more equipped than another to just start.

 And I wouldn't contribute much to anyone .... But if it weren't for that stubborn streak ;)

So what is this post about?

I have no idea.

Start, imperfectly.
Embrace failure when you've given 100%.
Leverage/ Channel strong traits towards your heart's desire.
Honor your heart's desire (AKA "Do you, boo").
People criticize Mother Theresa, they are GOING to criticize you.  Be sure you know that and chart your own path.

I try not to write so self-help-y serious stuff, but to point 4 above, its just where Im lead, and seems not to change.

So that's all I got!
~Anna

Tuesday 9/26 ~ And so it begins....

Just starting to write again because the bible says my gifts are meant to be multiplied and hiding them under or burying them is not rewarded or the way to go.  So today Im starting.   Im not sure writing is a gift of mine but Im trusting those close to me especially my Dad and the number of times I've been told it is.

If this doesn't improve or help others, I will discontinue but stepping out in faith and the chance they are right -I don't want to bury a talent I was given to multiply into others!

Writing in the arena of fitness one thing I've observed is that people who focus on getting into shape (not necessarily the ones that stay there and make fitness their WHOLE WORLD) become like a knife that has been sharpened. Same material, same functions, but MUCH sharper at all of them and make more meaningful progress in all areas of life and are clearer about what they want that progress to be.  Maybe that is the message.  Keeping fitness in proper perspective for ourselves is probably going to look different for all of us.  If fitness is supposed to be a portion of life-- how great to look at our health like the four pillars that HOLD UP your life.

We use this visual in the brand new workshops we are doing.

I was excited to find this image.  Here SUCCESS means whatever YOUR version of success is.  For me, its peace.  Its a feeling that Im doing good work and enjoying life to its fullest.  A sense of inner pride and acceptance as well as the sense Im making a difference and using my resources wisely.  I could go on and I still have a lot of work to do.  Its my opinion that each person decides what "success" in their life looks like.  Its also my opinion that if you strengthen the 4 pillars of health and fitness, you will be better at whatever that looks like.

Next time, I can share what the 4 pillars are.

Today's encouragement comes from my business mentor and the concept of BELIEVE.  When it comes to moving any part of your life from where you are to where you want to be, BELIEF is a huge asset.  She shared a great tenet of belief using the word as an acronym so the B stood for:

B = "Begin where you are.  Wipe the slate clean.  Move forward"

How freeing is that!???

Thought I'd share!  

Hopefully this will get me back to writing again for those who enjoy it, but for now....its all I got!

Day 33 {Signs}

...do you believe in signs?

...do you pay attention enough to see them?

Over the past few weeks - this topic of signs was been planted in my brain by some Facebook posts and then also some personal face to face conversations - so I was like wow that was a coincidence.  Or was it?  Nah....  that was a SIGN.  Right?  No.  Could be.  Decidedly Undecisive :)

But it made me ask myself if I believe in signs and the newer more faithful (less controlling and fearful) version of me was able to say yes, I believe in signs.  From there I had my eyes open.

Then ~  in the past week on 4 separate unrelated cases I had THE EXACT SAME thing spoken into me by people who came into (or back into) my life about exactly the path I was supposed to take and I was thankful to for the heads up to be aware of signs.  The confirmation and message is clear and a big fat arrow guiding me down the path I was already heading.  It was a reminder of what I should do for others and what I have to give...even if I feel uncomfortable and question myself and have enjoyed the safety of not doing it - not putting myself out there and conserving the energy of trying.

I believe everyone has their thing.  Their thing that blesses others and the people around the love and nobody can mimic.  I also believe its like a young magician learning to "control" or harness their power once they realize they have it.  And there are mistakes, mishaps, misuses and consequences of all of that can be discouraging from enjoying sharing that gift.  No idea if that made sense.  But for me, its been 100% true.

The other side of the sign is that when you "Step Out In Faith" to hone your craft and REFINE so there are less mistakes, mishaps, and misuses - you will fail and you will face obstacles, judgement and ridicule.  Ini there words --- there is a large energy cost.  Also why I believe most people would rather just dead man float down the lazy river of life and let the undertow just drag them through their life.  To navigate away from that current is at times exhausting and absolutely required if you want to share your unique gift!   In my highest times of conviction, those things (rejection, energy drain, obstacles) were just fuel.

But between me and you (yes the intimacy of the entire internet) I often crash into intense lows after these high performing times of conviction and fight.  And I turn to flight.  So my new mature, faithful, "version" wants to embark on doing what I feel I am best at, contribute the most, enjoy the success and value added to others and myself and family ..  to swim against the current and refine my craft and reach for the highest cause and highest experience of life ... but without the crash.  I want the yin without the yang and that is not possible.

And that is where this season has led me.  So many people - if not all people - I believe are driven by a need to be themselves, to bring their uniques gift to the table of life and to do that in work and personal life in some form.  I know this.  So hopefully someone will resonate with this and also be encouraged if they share my beliefs and experience.

Just keep swimming :)  And follow the signs.

Day 43-38 (Q and A)

I thought it would be fun to post a few common Q and A's.  We did FaceBook LIVE Q and A with our business team _--> HEY SMITH CHAMPIONS!!! <---  and in our customer group!  So -

1)  How do you feel now that you are not a gym owner? (MOST COMMON!!!)

That is easy!  MIXED!  Guilty but not sad.  A little relieved.  Somewhat left out but I think that is just because I have trouble with seasons even when they are good because truth be told I don't want to be in a gym, with loud music and my heart is not to write training programs anymore.  Relieved because I wasn't doing a great job and I *HATE* that feeling.  I worked hard to build a great name and I didn't want to tarnish that by continuing to push a square peg in a round hole anymore.   I even attempted to give it my 110% and for something I was once so gifted at, when my 110% did not create progress and benefit others ~ I KNEW it was my time to go serve somewhere else!  So I am very much enjoying life and SPACE and less responsibility.   And a sense that I am making a difference and an impact on others, and learning how to be my best version of ME in the process.  Namely having the ability to work on myself to be sure Im giving the VERY BEST I CAN BE to Ellen and Mike and my team!!!

2)  Is Ellen Rose 11 now?

YES!  And she's a young eleven which I love and says "I don't wanna grow up" which I LOVE!  She is funny and witty like her dad and shy like I used to be.  She's smart but doesn't love school.  She is very forgiving and assumes the best from others.  She is hyper sensitive and loves very hard.  I know life in that skin and it won't be the easiest especially to continue to believe in people and their intentions. She also loves to cook!  Which is cool and we are going to let her try a horse lesson soon.   She LOVES music and cats and is starting to value her friends more and more but as she said this weekend "Mom, you and Daddy are my favorite 2 people".    As it should be, baby girl.  As it should be.

3) What is next?  

Being present is next!  Working on me is next!  I want to dream big and have a big fun life but don't want to be so focused on building whats ahead that i don't find BIG JOY in every day with my people.  I have a *great* inner circle.  They know who they are because I talk about them to each other.  I don't like a lot of sorta friends.  I like a few high quality - make-me-better friends and I have them.   I would not change a thing!

Day 44 (Word(s) of the Day)

Im a professional kick boxer in a stay at home mom's body.

I truly love to box.  I have never found someone to train me since I fell in love with it 20 years ago since my good friend Ben Groom did it for me and many of our clients.  Most women who get to train boxing 1 on 1 are hooked for life.  Now that I am a little tired of lifting and traditional cardio - when my favorite person Rosalyn Powell said she was interested in this new small joint called 9Round was opening, we went for it. Its inexpensive and you get free pink gloves when you sign up and there are hanging bags everywhere.  Im in!  

So 44 days away from the West Caribbean and I am more excited about BOXING again than anything.  Excited to be so out of shape that I get to SUCK at it so bad...that I will be obsessed with going back.  I love to work, to fight (pun intended).  And its not always in me to go hard in the paint anymore like it used to be, that is for sure, but add great music and boxing gloves and Im all about it.

Also had a great lesson with Ellen today about money.  About the decisions you make with it and had a great time helping her think about how to spend some of her own as I had to drag her with me to grab something and it presented the opportunity to help her think through something she wanted. Got me thinking about homeschooling again.  Being able to teach her and pour into her about LIFE while we do the reading writing and arithmetic...  She said she would rather go to school but when seeds are planted that I personally are appalled at, I know where its coming from.  So, I honor them by not burying them deeper.  Not in a hurry to homeschool, but its the very LAST thing I ever wanted to do and its coming up.  And my words for the year are (in order) OBEDIENCE, HUMILITY, and SERVICE.  Therefore, I have to listen so I can.....obey.

Now, outside of that, work is phenomenal.  Im so excited about what is on the horizon for our teammates and for life this year.  I had an awesome call with a friend I think will be blessed beyond his wildest dreams. I then spent a lovely afternoon in the house helping Ellen with homework and taking care of her and out of the house running some fun errands in this gorgeous weather.  Stocked up on all sorts of fun add-ons for samples I am mailing out to build my business and reach even more people and even picked up a new thing or 2 for the office, which is coming along so nicely.  

I could have spent $2000 in TJ Maxx HomeGooks, but escaped for a few bucks less given I have investment goals and plenty of time to buy 7 new totes adorbs accent tables. ha!

And now cooking (for the very first time) Fettuccine Carbonara from scratch.  I will add last night's leftover shredded crockpot chicken and reduce my serving to hit those goals but a little pasta won't kill me since I've had no carbs to speak of today.  Balance.  Should be my 4th word! LOL

In obedience, humility and service,

Anna

PS- I think there is a problem with my counter.  I don't think I even have that many friends must less readers for these last few posts.  But if that many people are reading... please forgive my lack of interesting content, perfect grammar, etc.  I am doing this because of that word of the year thing!  OBEDIENCE :)

Day 45 (Carrots and Frogs)

"Thank you for taking care of me while I have been sick"

"WHAT??"

(she repeated) and she came in for a big snuggly-hug.  At which point I started stuttering and sniffling and telling her how much I enjoyed it and love being her Mama, not sure what to say really.  I mean even when your kids do the RIGHT thing you really aren't are how to feel or what to say, I mean you are shaping a HUMAN - and EVERYTHING they do is a first so its like tons of pressure and zero experience all rolled up and rolled out in little rolls of the dice every day so you really aren't sure what you are going to get.

And there are not rules to the game. And you are blindfolded.  On a unicorn.  You get it.

And - I was astounded.  No idea where she got this from I never would have thought to do that.

And I won't lie, she could talk the tail off a billy goat and wiggles nonstop even while watching a movie and running a fever.  And lets don't forget the constant mouth breathing.  Bless it.  OR asking me 45 (irony) back to back questions only to totally ignore me when I decide to go ahead and start a conversation to escape the interrogation...

So what does that have to do with 45 or a carrot?  Well I think carrot because we booked a special mommy-daughter cruise to the British VI, Bahamas, and Tortola since Mike will still be in the fire academy in 45 days with 2 other families we really love!  And having a painful image of not enjoying that once in a lifetime event with my daughter is important enough that I now want some physically improvement, finally.  And I miss feeling strong. So that improvement is my carrot.  Like a horse chasing a carrot in a race.  Im moving forward based on that reward in the future.

Coincidentally, I also want to travel every quarter and a trip to Punta Mita, Mexico is on the horizon for November and that is a carrot for me professionally because its being offered to top performers in our company.

So I juggled mothering, power - chilling with Ellen, ran errands, and the top 3 "frogs" (See Brian Tracy Eat the Frog for that context) for those 2 carrots and had dinner with my people, read a book with them and even cleaned my house.  Didn't cook tonight.  Leftovers made more sense.

SO! Thats all I got:)

Hope everyone else is eating frogs and chasing carrots today;)
~Anna
PS...Oh yeah, and since I've been planning menus and making dinner every night Ellen reached out and grabbed my hand and said "Hey Mom your like a real live stay at home Mom now!  You make dinner and EVERYTHING"  I had no comment.

Day 46 (Space.)

So much to say and nothing to say.  As is the conundrum of most blogs yes?! LOL But seriously, first thank you for all who swung by yesterday when I announced this.  I can see by the numbers and I appreciate the support and response.  I have no intentions of solving the world's, or your,  problems (in this blog). Blogs are WEB LOGS...just a log of something you keep on the web.  Its tempting to turn them onto our personal advice columns but truly that is not my intention.  Even though I admit its odd to me to keep a log of my life for others to see.  Yet, here we are.

I will say if you don't journal.  You should journal.  In your mind if you just nodded your head and mini-rolled your eyes and thought I know I know, I can tell you won't but here is the thing.  I journal here on this blog and don't publish so for fun I went and read the unpublished journals here since my last real post and it was illuminating... imagine being internally illuminated.  Its like it shines a light on and neatly clarifies you to yourself.  Its a calming, GROUNDING, reassuring experience for me.  I think for everyone.

SO today, the log will will be not so much the activities of the day (althought that was cleaning the house, cooking, working and taking care of a sick 5th grade girl who really is a champ about it but feels pretty rotten) - but a log of the thoughts of the day.

For a LOOONG time to me, its felt like limbo.  Im no longer running from the bear that would eat me if I didn't prove myself.  If I wasn't successful.  If I didn't achieve.  And its not a bad place, but its a new one and Im a little fish-out-of-water.  Its a new skill to have space.

It means time and energy freed up. So what do I do.  Well for one, I become a lazier, funnier (I think) version of myself.  And Im all about home-making again.  And not decorating.   Like cleaning the house and making homemade cleaners and making dinners and menus every night.  I don't even know what that is about but maybe its about taking care of people and slowing down to speed up.

Lots more I can say about literally changing my identity from something I took from an idea to a "thing"...didn't build on or anyone.  And so it was kinda like what I think leaving one body behind and jumping in a new body feels like.  I've been literally figuring out this new person I am.

That brings me to "Day 46" .. when you own a gym and are the engine for the gym and for the supplement business you also have, you are always thinking fitness and more importantly "BE THE EXAMPLE"..which is honorable, but also exhausting and to be honest, not realistic.   So after I achieved my goal of competing, I knew what was possible and I knew I didn't want to live there so I had nothing left to prove and therefore set out about seeing what life was like if your decisions weren't constantly governed by "BEING THE EXAMPLE"... IT WAS FUN!  And then it was inconvenient.  Things like energy and clothes and comfort become an issue so now Im choosing to return to a great energetic version of myself for me (which I was always for for myself first but driven and fueled by the near scorch intensity of needing to be an example)...so this is back to living without concern for what others need more than what I need.

Back to being about taking care of me and my family and that is what drew people to follow to begin with.  Putting first things first and designing a life was the passion that drove me when I started Anna Smith Training Company in the basement across the street.  I was the most happy in those early years.

So this is getting back to me.  I will forever be grateful to AdvoCare for giving me the SPACE to shed old skin and return to this new skin.  Something I read earlier was:

"Most of us are trying to be the way we think we have to be to get respect, love, money, success, etc.  But its not about changing who we are.  The change actually comes when you BE YOURSELF"

And that is TRUE.

So today I walked around the block and did some heavy deadlifts, and rows with the sandbag and walking lunges.  Broken up in 15 minutes here, 5 here and 20 minutes there.   Thats a long way from planned recorded workouts with elaborate pre and post workout nutrition and personal bests etc of days gone by.  IT was just something for my body to adapt to.  And I kept my promise to do it so I feel strong.

Meals are so easy.  Shake or protein pancakes in the am.  Leftovers for lunch.  A bar, apple or shake for snack and then one of my menu items.  Tonight it was cilantro crockpot chicken!  I grabbed some low carb tortiallas and we put full fat cheese on there and BAM!  I have leftover chicken for tomorrow... will eat with cheese for a no carb lunch Im sure.  Again, its got to be easy or Im not doing it!

Cilantro Southwest Chicken
3 tbsp Fresh cilantro
Taco seasoning
Salsa (I had none so that is 4 campari tomatoes and a 1/4 onion with a spoon of garlic)
Lime juice (I had none so lemon it was!)

Combine in crockpot
Add chicken breast (We use organic)
mix to coat

High for 4 hours or low for 6 to 8.

OK, and I haven't mentioned - Ellen Rose and I are joining 2 other families of a Norwegian Cruise to Bahamas and British Virgin Islands and Tortola April 1st.  

So thats all I got and for those that know me well, this is for you.  Wine, and cats and a scarf.

I am complete.

~Anna

47 days to go

Countdown starts here tomorrow.
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