BLOG: Decisions Determine Destinations - the addendum

 I DISPISE SELF PITY.

I spent a career learning and teaching how to take outside circumstances and keep them emotionally and physically separate from your ability to respond.  I learned and preached on the subject of decisions determine destinations - that allowing outside circumstances to be the reason for some failure in your life, some "demise" you are working through is W-E-A-K.  

The judgy feel inherent in saying WEAK and not something more empowering is because I know that was the emotion I carried with that lesson when I taught it - whether to a client, in a group, or through writing. And that was because it was me, talking to myself obviously.  I firmly believe that we are harsh in our commentary of life (read: the lives of others) to the extent that we are being harsh on ourselves.  The better, more accurate word to reflect what I learned, what I've experienced and what I ACTUALLY believe would go like this.

I believe that allowing outside circumstances to be the reason for some failure in your life, some "demise" you are working through is...simply a lack of education and something that we can learn to do totally differently.  Once you learn that your decisions can change your destinations DESPITE circumstances, you are in the drivers seat and can have hope.

Examples of this are 

1) the person who is telling themselves the story that they cannot eat well because they have to cook for their family or husband and that is not what those people want. 

To that I offer: Millions of people eat well and cook different for their families every single day. If you want to change how you eat, you are not a prisoner, a factory worker in a communist country, you are FREE to eat well.  That lesson, or some version of it, liberated hundreds upon hundreds of people who saw their obstacles melt away and finally were able to live in high energy, healthy bodies.

2) The person who is telling themselves the story that they cannot build a business "because of the economy."  

To that I offer:  Look around at the millions of businesses operating today because they chose to adapt and overcome.  They chose to respond to the market rather than create a business around their own wants, but rather serve the customers out there and make it work.  That liberated hundreds of entrepreneurs into realizing there will always be obstacles (gender, color, economy, financial constraints, etc)  But other people have a different set of obstacles so you own and conquer yours and let others own and conquer theirs

What I never considered, what I never understood and what I never fathomed (because life has a way of numbing us in our ignorance, which often becomes a feeling of false authority) is that you cannot "decide" your way out of the pain, the shock, and the grief of the circumstances.  You can change alot with your own decision but you cannot change, by decision, your processing of an event.  

And because I had lived through some trauma in my 20's, and walked the walk of deciding on a great destination through many difficult things, all without succumbing to self pity, I was fully convinced I was right.  So suck it up and change things for your self wasn't just something I learned and taught, it was something I walked.

I can teach and inspire on this for hours.  I still love it. I still love the magic in seeing someone's mind unlock and their belief come flooding out.  And in that, I had no room for self pity.  In fact, breaking the self pity habit was a big part of my belief system and the foundation on which I believe you go and get what it is your heart desires.

So for that person whose heart and stopped desiring, its not a matter of decisions changing the destination, its a matter of needing your heart to wake back up, so you can desire something in the first place.

This is the next level.  This is my "level up" of late.  What does a person do when the obstacle is that they don't desire.  They don't see a better future, they don't wish and yearn. My lesson no longer worked for this. One cannot decide their way out of losing hope and desire into a different destination.

So I realized, I still hate self pity, its a destructor and a thief.  Yet, I have spent 3 years feeling pretty sorry for myself.  One year before my Dad died and the 2 years afterward.  And here is one thing I know for sure - it wasn't a DECISION.  It was a feeling.  And I actively worked very very hard to dig and climb, to search and rescue myself and over time, the feeling has changed. 

So I am writing the addendum - for myself but especially for anyone who relates to hearing the theme and concepts of Decisions Determine Destinations, or how to respond and not react, so forth and so on ... and feel completely UNHEARD and MISUNDERSTOOD.  And full of self loathing.

I want to say this - That approach to life only works if your heart yearns and desires some destination and you are seeing obstacles and 'reasons' you can't get there.  It 100% doesn't work if you are lacking that yearning.  So tuning into those messages will create self loathing that multiplies!  Then answer you seek is not there.  At least it wasn't for me.    

I now recognize that as I taught the "DDD lesson" I saw people all the time who I thought 

"why are you trying to make yourself want something because you see other people who want it"?  

"if you would figure out what YOU really want, then all of this would start to click for you"...

Of course I didn't say it and I had nothing to offer them, it was just an observation.

They could never reach their goal because they really didn't DESIRE (that is a big, emotion filled, action producing word).  Yet they would come to me and other sources trying to find the motivation to get some thing they didn't even want!

In fact, what I learned is that the destination then becomes to dig and climb and find all the ways to heal.  Period.  To regain your balance. 

And that involves alot less of listening to people like me teach and preach from a standpoint of their own healed and balanced selves striving for whats on their heart... and way more listing to our own insides, finding our own way and letting the rest of the world do what its going to do.  It is not passing you by.  

So that is the decision to make.  Your destination is healing and balance and then you will begin to feel those pulls of desire for goals and things and you can follow them, because they are YOURS...not someone else's you are trying to adopt.

Side note:  I have avoided writing like this for a while for 2 reasons.  One, I had less to say and two, I struggle with the narcissistic feel of writing about my experiences.  I mean because really who cares, everyone has their own life and story full of just as much to say.

But then my friend Michele gave me a book and told me the author was a memoirist.  I didn't know memoirist was a thing. Im really enjoying the book and event he parts I don't relate to, I am learning from. 

Now I don't feel "so bad" about "writing about myself"... according to the definition it is - about your life, the lessons learned, and key moments that shaped who you are.  

So if you found you enjoyed or learned from this, I encourage you to share it, for that will encourage me to continue to share. :)

Grinding towards mediocre is NOT THE WAY.

True or False?

We underestimate our abilities!  

Have you ever said to yourself:

"Its moving slow than I would like."

"Im putting in the grind to build because that is what it takes"

"This is hard, but ... If it was easy, everyone would do it"

When it dawned on me that I had been in network marketing for 10 years, with success reserved for less than 1/2% of those in that industry, and had an award winning gym that I built for another near decade, I realized that I had a lot of what I needed and began to challenge myself to organize that and figure out how I could put into action what I already KNEW.  

The thing is, we can ALL get caught tn a rut doing what we did to get us where we got.  But the million dollar question that will move the needle forward in your business is what needs to change to get to the NEXT LEVEL?

What stories are you telling yourself that are keeping you continuing to do the very same thing you've always done and get mediocre results?

Imagine yourself at your goal.  See the clients and customers loving working with you.  See the stream of new people applying to be next.  See the income you desire dropping in your account.

What did you do to get there?

Who did you hire?

What class did you take?

How many hours did you work?

What did you believe about yourself and your business?

These are things within your power and ONLY you can be and do.  Once you figure out who you have to BE, what you have to do, then you can HAVE what you desire to have.  I challenge you this Sunday to take 30 minutes and set a time and think through the above questions.  You may just give yourself a task list that turns out to be the path to your goals.

Let me know if the comments what you uncover!  I am always here to cheer you on!

Healing and Dealing - The three things to regain clarity, purpose and flow in your everyday life!

 

Mother Theresa actually said it way better, and I paraphrase, if you have time to judge, you have no room to love.  

I have news for people who judge.  That person you are judging has already beat you.  

I know this because its no secret I've been to some pretty low valleys.  And I've felt the pain of wishing I was doing better, and no motivational quote was going to fix it.  And at times, I was jealous, annoyed and even critical.  Truth is, its hard to watch others be clear, be in their flow, or on their game.  Especially when the game you're playing is keeping your head above water and figuring out how to drop the weights attached to your feet!

So I wasn't so much judging, I was just wishing I had my feet under me on solid ground.  I think everyone goes thought this.  

I think;

Its not always a matter of wanting more, being more, holding yourself to a standard, or that yo are being lazy, afraid to dream, yada yada. Sometimes it absolutely is. But having worked so hard to push in a time when I just needed to heal and center, and having worked so hard when it WAS the right time, I learned it is better to just heal and recenter when its time to do that.  

Staying distracted and not healing and dealing is in my opinion, never the right path.  There is always something you can control, and your healing is one of them.  It doesn't involve controlling other people or changing, the past but it involve some scary conversations and facing some scary realities about yourself and your life.

I believe you can never go wrong with:

Taking care of your spiritual house.  Whatever that means.  Whatever you believe that restores you, gives you faith in humanity, orders your world, and helps you love and not judge - take care of that.  Invest in it.  Don't put that off in favor of distractions.

Take care of your physical house.  Let go of appearances inside and outside your life and just lean into the best physical shape you can be in.  Without a doubt, you will not reach your full potential by not pushing your body and being fit.  Playing small, keeping someone else's definition of fitness, doing less than your best for whatever reason allowing yourself to be held back is not doing anyone any favors.  Your purpose will not be realized without marrying your mind and body.  My absolute best effort 2 years ago was not even what a 70 year old would hold them selves to today.  Thank God I didn't camp out there.  Our lives were designed to be a mind- body experience and you will never go wrong pausing to get your physical life in order.  In your happiest, clearest times, were you fit or unfit?  I rest my case.

Take care of your mental house.  Push your mind.  Stay sharp.  Get on top of your administrative life. Push yourself to learn.  Invest in therapy, and consult expert opinions on your mental health and coping mechanisms.  There is a way out if you can be brave and honest with yourself.  There is no room for justifying.  

I honestly dont think there is ever a bad time to pause and do these things.  But if you find yourself sleeping any energy judging others, try having faith that the future is going to happen and you DO have time to take a breath and focus on these 3 things and I dare you not to come out of the other side with your clarity, in your flow and finding joy in your life!

Thinking of being a test case with me?

 There are 7 areas in which I show up and help you:

1) The solopreneur is a lonely fellow. Having someone to get the thoughts out of your head and into something cohesive is in and of itself valuable!  Enter the Biz BFF who is well versed, invested and 100% fully present for you on a schedule.

2) Expert sales strategy - teaching you but also helping you understand how sales works, the psychology of sales, what makes sales happen … so much so that you can not only do it, but be proud to do , and you could teach it to someone else. 

3) Expert marketing strategy, especially SM..Attraction marketing so that your perfect client finds you, hears you, and reaches out. Not just teaching but helping you execute in your specific business so that it translates into measurable results and creating more clients as you service the ones you have.

4) Scaling strategy: How to scale from DAY 1.  If you don’t want to show up and work in 1 year, 3 years, or 5 years the way you need to work right now to gather momentum, there is a very specific strategy from day that if you miss, will feel like you work around the clock.

5) Idea strategy - part of a solopreneurs journey is having amazing ideas …all the time!  So to have a strategy for those ideas so they dont get lost and the cream rises to the top.

6)  The exact method so that you create a business that has boundaries and is efficient and productive NOW.  What you do now is what you will do when your income triples, quadruples, and so forth.  We will open up the blindspots that drive solopreneurs to just self create another job that owns them rather than own a business that you can run.

7)Last, I can help you with the basic record keeping to help with taxes and ROI for your time and just some basic financials to give you a starting place instead of it feeling like an ocean of options!  

My format right now is 6 weeks: 3 calls that are 2 weeks apart where we dive into these strategies, starting with what serves your first and most important goal. 

After each call, it is normal to expect homework detailed to you and accountability to get it done.  Then you choose to rehire based on your results for the next 6 week block.

The investment is discounted about 90% off to be a part of the test case project.   The projected investment once I am finished with test cases will be $1999 for a similar format.  My test cases are helping me fine tune everything right down to call method, flow, all of it!  So its super discounted!  I will be using all that we do in my course development which will be priced lower than the 1:1 at $1999 but higher than the test cases.

I hope this helps you make the decision that is best for you and your business!  

Sending you all the good vibes on your new venture!!

email me at annathetrainer@me.com if you would like to apply to be a test case before the end of the year~

Anna

Top reasons you are not making more money

 

3 SIMPLE tips for making sure your social media is not hurting your business

 Hi!  Below is a video I did for my IG LIVE audience to help people during this time when we are ALL turning to social media in a massive pivot.  I believe now is the time for entrepreneurs to step up and share and be generous with what they are learning to help those around them. 

This applies to everyone not just those in the health and wellness fields. But, honestly, I did this specifically for my friends in the wellness space.  I believe so much in the value of that industry, know its challenges and see a huge need for support.  

For the audio learners, and some bullets with time for the more visual/reading learners.   Head on over to @i_am_annasmith and share and tag anyone else you think this will help!  

• Why are you here? 1) You are procrasti-scrolling 2) You need to learn something new to increase your effectiveness on social media (SM) and you feel something is missing. Why I am here and what I bring to the table...
• You have choices after you learn these tips..you can implement and watch your income increase, you can follow me on instagram tag and share your friends and help me share this message during a time when we ALL need to help each other or you can reach to me and see if you qualify as a test case client for me.
• What is killing your SM marketing game... defining COPY vs CONTENT and super simplifying the definition for attraction marketing.   Copy is marketing language designed to elicit a specific action or response.  Content is how you do it, what excites YOU.  Content is about us, Copy (aka "marketing copy" is about our perfect client and what their needs are. 
• Focusing on ourselves is a deadly SM sin when it comes to attraction marketing and making your time super profitable and effective.  Especially in the health and wellness space.
• What we know:  we love SM, we know it can transform business and we fall into some deadly pitfalls fast
• We mimic the influencer, making posts and trying to be interesting and that creates no boundaries and false sense of working (that actually has no real ROI) and drains us.  Sidetone:  Also - who can imagine doing that for 5-10years?  Something HAS to change or you will burn out, guaranteed.
• As a solopreneur, be very aware that everything you do is creating a JOB...either for you to do, or for you to hire someone else to do in the future.  Are you creating a business you can own or a job that runs you?
• Your biggest asset is time, and skill.  If you use your time doing something with not a lot of ROI then you are losing the opportunity to be doing something else with a larger ROI and make your time count. By increasing your skill on SM you now have a higher ROI on that valuable time asset and the asset of SM (we all know it has potential!).
• The next 3 weeks on Wed at noon, I will teach you to 1) Consider your perfect customer 2) Promote your product or service using a plan and 3) how to evaluate your day and create an organized highly profitable schedule with boundaries and free time that gives you confidence in where your business is going!
• Today - Huge first step is defining that perfect client (I go over how to know who this is) and then thinking very hard about the problem your product or service solves for that exact person.
• After defining this and their problems, find EVIDENCE...testimonials, systems, processes, products, everything your business does for the specific reason of solving their problem..and TALK ABOUT THAT WITH EVIDENCE!  
• Then share exactly what you want them to do.  Do not leave the "next steps" to chance.  Speak the steps in simple terms like you would talk to a kindergartener.  Rinse and repeat and watch the massive change in your results. 
• Remember,  if you found value today, be a part of helping our industry and 
• you can implement and watch your income increase, definitely email me at annathetrainer@me.com with your results!!!  I will celebrate with you personally.
• Go now and  follow me on instagram tag and share your friends and help me share this message during a time when we ALL need to help each other or 
• You can reach to me at annathetrainer@me.com and see if you qualify as a test case client for me.

Thats all I got!  Onward and Upward!

Anna

2 TIPS for achieving success as a health and wellness solopreneur

Remember this:

Its natural and NORMAL to question everything you are doing when you are building a business.

And quite frankly, there are some principles that always work (discussed below), but outside of that, no one has the magic potion. The real deal of the situation is this: Its lonely at the top, or rather, its lonely when you are building a business as a soloprenuer, especially in the health and wellness field.

You are likely highly passionate, with impeccable integrity, and more interested in helping people than anything else, even profit. You are likely driven by a desire to share what has helped you with EVERYONE so they can find their power and path.

Sound like you?

Not only is it lonely, its difficult to stay clear, objective, motivated, out of your head, and effective. So, getting in a hurry is a sure fire way to crash and burn. Staying confused is as well. You can have a sense of purpose and speed but you can’t hurry and stay clear and effective. The principles of building a business that come up for those of us in the wellness space being a soloprenuer are:

SOLID PRINCIPLES

A specific measurable goal (that reflects your true purpose) for this month and 6 months out …minimum.

A daily plan on your schedule that are the actoins you decided BEFORE HAND are what you are going to do to reach those above to goals.

See, here is the thing. Deciding what to do in the moment, always on the fly, according to the last webinar you watched or 10 pages of a book you read or what you saw someone else do can move your business, yes, but its not in your best interest for several reasons.

1. How will you know what worked and didn’t?

3. How will you ever me free from that activity?

5. Do you want to wake up every day a year from now still blowing with the wind letting the influence of others decide your fate?

6. How about 5 years from now?

This is from my heart - the heart I have for the person who is starting out- I was you - and I want to pour my experience and personal investment into you so you can take your energy and passion for what you want to do together with what I can teach and find success, but even more, PEACE and FREEDOM.

So to really drill the point home: The huge problem with:

wing it daily,

do when you feel like,

work out of pure emotion

*I AM GONG OT WIN BECAUSE I CARE AND IM GOOD AT WHAT I DO* (this one is deadliest of all)

strategies are they will never provide you peace, and freedom.

The reason is simple. To win, you will learn to choose a goal and path and then commit to it so you can test and measure what works and what doesn’t.

That way you are able to use what is proven useful (not what some webinar or book promises is) and leave what is not.

You set aside time to make those decisions based on your goals, not your in the moment emotions, and then the job each day is to EXECUTE and ENJOY!!

That way you can use the lessons you are learning and upgrade the plan so that your business reaches its goals and so does your life with clarity and speed.

That way you can have a boundary around your work and allow yourself to know when you are “done” for the day and press forward with a clear mind.

If you combine this with the excitement you have for what you are building and your passion for helping others, you can turn your passion into a payday.

If you found this useful, or it made you think, added value in ANY way, I don’t ask for anything, just that you join me in helping others….if it made you think of someone you know, your teammate, or your team, share and tag away ON FACEBOOK.COM/UNCOMMONOPTIMISM

SIMPLE QUESTIONS TO GO FROM WORKING IN YOUR BUSINESS TO WORKING ON YOUR BUSINESS

 

As soon as you’ve boiled your business down to one sentence ... illustrating what problem you solve ...

Now what problem does your business need to solve for YOU?

OUR GOAL IS TO BUILD SOMETHING THAT SERVES US, NOT A SELF CREATED HAMSTER WHEEL.

That is the difference in being a business owner and being self-employed.

Building a business is EXACTLY like building your fitness.

It requires knowing exactly where you want to go and then deciding exactly how to get there each day and evaluating what activities match your goal and YOUR timeline.

If you don’t set your business up to serve you, you will most definitely end up serving IT.

So ask some questions, and see what this helps reveal to you…

Think about exactly what you need to do each day to make that happen?

What’s the simplest way?

What’s the hardest way?

What have you tried that works?

Are you doing what is comfortable or what you know because thats how you did it last year, 5 years ago or even 10 years ago?

Am I doing what I’ve always done even though there may be better ways?

Am I so busy working IN my business that Im not working ON my business?

What principle do you know works, even though methods change?

How can you upgrade your method!?

Was there a better method? We’re you using a great method just inconsistent with it?

Do you need to scrap that method and learn a better way?

Know those numbers. Be crystal clear. If you aren’t, your customers and potential customers aren’t either.

In addition, you’ll likely be in the same place with bigger frustrations and bigger problems to solve in 1, 3or 5 years from now without a plan specifically to get where you’d like to go instead.

If this challenged you, helped you, or just made you feel heard and normal, share this post or tag a friend who you know has something special to share with their business that will benefit.

Simple Wins!

CONSISTENCY > INTENSITY FOR RESULTS

 Correct consistent action > incorrect consistent action > correct inconsistent action. ⁣⁣

Pick 1 Target that gets most of your energy. What’s most important? ⁣⁣ if you don’t know this, then you’re probably VERY in your head.  
Align your focus to that - what’s the daily actions ( and when will you do them) to achieve that goal?? 
Do you really believe those actions will produce that goal? Really??? Look for evidence. 
Keep all other ideas on a timeline for after you’ve tested and measured your primary goal and action plan. 
Test and measure everything! ⁣⁣

Did this inspire, clarify, or help you in any way? JOIN ME ON FACEBOOK.COM/UNCOMMONOPTIMISM

Business owndership should not be a self-created hamster wheel!

Take it from this pro: LEARN TO REST, NOT QUIT. Winners don’t take Fridays off until the key activities are checked off! It’s ok to rest but champions create distance on Fridays! I hope you completed the high return, leveraged actions for your business and then clocked OUT. Your purpose is freedom, not a self-created hamster wheel.

Products and Practices that worked for relieving chronic severe pain and depression/anxiety

Someone needs to hear this.  I see people daily and I recognize my old existence and if one of them reads this and gets 1 piece of their puzzle solved, it will be WORTH IT 100%, no question.

I have been more vocal than most about the flurry of circumstances and the resulting struggles of the last few years.  Details on that in the last few blog entries.  It was not one but several unrelated circumstances leading to a perfect storm that lead to words we see and hear daily (depression, chronic pain, anxiety) that in reality look like this -

I share this so the person who it resonates with can benefit!

What I felt like daily:

1. Pure exhaustion most days - this is as much physical as it is mental and I see people everyday now and I know this is how they feel and are accepting it as normal.
2. Lack of stamina to do daily activities - even with the mental desire, I had lost the physical stamina to conduct a regular day.  It was like dragging a 50 pound pack with you everywhere. 
3. Fear of things with a big energy outlay (traveling, shopping, multiple appointment days)
4. Woke to pain in my back, feet and neck (usually a sleeping arm as well) all night long and woke in massive pain in the morning.  
5. Desperate to sleep to just rest and feel lack of pain, but generally unable.
6. Lack of motivation
7. Lack of enjoyment in normal things 
8. A realization that things that should be uplifting, or joyful, were not.
9. An ability to be around others and genuinely enjoy them and seem (99.9%) of the time as if nothing was wrong if it was a short visit.  Short visits are great distractions and opportunities to feel like onesself so they were nice but betrayed what it was like most of the time.
10. Knowing I was off but unable to know how to fight what I couldn't see and what was unknown. 
11. Loss of hope.
12. COMPLETE LACK OF CLARITY OR PASSION OR ANYTHING.  Even things I wanted to be passionate about.
13. A huge void not only for the things I had lost in life, but also for the me I used to be. I had no idea to approach a day not knowing who this "new" person was...!  I think I mourned that loss as well!  No, I know I did.

All the practices I had used in the past to maintain a healthy body and mind (and spirit!) felt like they were failing me.

They were:

1. Daily reading of positive enrichment, personal development courses
2. Bible study group, personal bible study and prayer
3. Meditation
4. Daily exercise and movement
5. Excellent sleep hygiene
6. Journaling
7. Chiropractic adjustments
8. Massage
9. NSAIDS (daily tylenol, aleve, etc)
10. Muscle relaxers
11. Caffeine and vitamins
12. Joining a service organization (Rotary Club) and volunteering at church

I followed all the advice I had ever been given or had given others.  It felt like there was some progress and then zero.  The classic, one step forward, 2 steps back.  The reality is I was making minuscule progress and it just didn't feel like it.  It is like climbing a mountain with a blindfold on, and it feels like you might be on a treadmill because you can't see if you are ACTUALLY moving forward, even though you are working hard.   This is why people quit!  How long would you continue to fight that mountain if it never felt like you were moving forward??

The reality I learned is that those things were working very well to keep me from getting worse, getting me closer to feeling better, and finding what can work and what cannot, at least for me.  Looking back, I see that my PERCEPTION was I was so different, not able to fight or be focused, then I realize how much effort I was putting in (see above list) and that in face, I am still the "team no quit" chick I've always been...I just couldn't see or feel the results for quite a while. Plus I had not found the perfect combo of activities.

I share that because if you know logically that something should help, I personally believe you have to trust it is helping and continue to fight rather than quit doing the things that you know help, even if you don't feel better.

Below is a list (and some backstory) of what helped (omitting what has not been helpful), in no particular order.

• The first stage of progress I can identify in retrospect was going to see my doctor and confessing how I felt.  That referral lead to a an appointment with a Dr./Therapist who prescribed me prozac and it was actually quite helpful.  I stayed on that until I unintentionally weaned off while traveling because i left the prescription at home.  The resulting headache during that trip inspired me to try to stay off of it and see how I did.
• Therapy...kind of! I went back to 3 more appointment and my first Dr had retired so I saw a stand in, who contradicted what my GP and firs doc told me, dismissing a problem and saying I was in between seasons basically.  I asked for therapy and I was referred to group therapy.  I arrived with a notebook ready to work and it was not unhelpful except the lady there alluded that I was too "on it" to need to be there so I didn't feel like I fit.  The next time I went I had a 3rd doctor and I just cancelled the appointment.  Had I pushed on, I would have gotten better alot faster so - get your therapy! IMO, everyone needs therapy, including me, including now.  
•  I have had a total commitment to daily exercise/movement.  For about a year that was taking the dogs around the block, a few days a week.  Then I tried a mile.  And it waxed me.  But I added some in home workouts. I signed up for 7 minute workouts and they were FANTASTIC!  I recommend them to anyone, if you need a small start, or if you're just in a hurry.  These were such a great fit for me and I think her training is brilliant.  I was unable to do what is usually considered gentle like plank, and several other things.  But I did what I could and given my stamina issues, I knew I could do 7 minutes.  And I did.   This was a foundation that took around 6 months.  
• A huge key was keeping a calendar in plain view and marking if I went for a walk or did my 7 minutes that day, or the exercise I have since added on.  
• I gave up dreams intensity for consistency.  For over a year... (that is a long time!!!!) My biggest focus was on walking the dogs consistently and daily steps using my fitbit and when it died I bought a 3rd generation apple watch.  Daily activity was my focus over a huge fitness undertaking.  My body just would not allow it.  Over time, I felt stamina return and I began just recently adding in more workouts and now we walk a minimum of 2 miles 3-4 x a week and I train with Mike 2-3 times a week doing 20-30 minute crossfit style metabolic workouts that we steal from 2 instagram accounts (https://www.instagram.com/twlwods/ and https://www.instagram.com/tatted_strength/).  Its begun to snowball because now I have more energy to do more in a day so its just finally building in the right direction.
• The correct kind of yoga. The next piece of the puzzle for me was yoga for restoration.  I did a whole blog on it here called NOT ALL YOGA IS CREATED EQUAL.  Yoga is not EASY, nor is it GENTLE.  I do want to dispell that myth.  I say starting with no more than 10 minutes and 3 times a week was a gracious plenty.  I could not sit indian style when I started but day by day, mobility improved and the body definitely heals when you move.  So does the mind in my opinion.
• Self massage and adjustments. I gave up massage and chiropractic due to lack of results in this season.  In my healthier seasons, they were game changers.  Now I rely on a simple neck massager from amazon and these Chirp wheels.  
• Inversion table.  I probably have not used it in a year and was going to sell it but I am hanging on to it incase I find myself in need.  For the really rough times, it was super helpful. 
• THC-free CBD - I have tried 4 brands.  This has been the one thing that when I added it, everything else slowly began to change and then kept improving month after month.  Each thing I have listed actually worked BETTER.  IT was like an amplifier for all the things I was doing.  And it eliminated the need for NSAIDS, muscle relaxers, copious caffeine (in a desperate attempt to get motivated and focused) It got me over the hump and is the reason that I could do and stick with the yoga, walking, workouts and all of the sudden every single thing I did began to work and I didn't need anything else.  It is the one thing I would not give up.  
• Meditation.  Its a painful thing to learn to do.  yet it is powerful.  The more I study it the more I understand why it helps so much. 
• Sleep hygiene.  I place a high priority on sleep.  That means over TV, social engagements and I track how much I sleep to spot problems.  I set boundaries so that I am well rested on a routine basis. 
• Journalling, bible study, and personal development.  This is something that I have believed in for decades and I have sustained this habit.  After starting CBD and getting some forward momentum with workouts, stamina, and my physical fitness, I found the impetus to write and enjoying that and it was a huge milestone... see "finding joy in things I know I should enjoy/love to do!" that I had lost.
• I took a DNA test to assess my genetics for fitness markers so I could customize my supplements, learn my diet and workout needs and what I am genetically wired to need for optimum health.   I learned my fatigue was from b6 deficiency and that I was not sensitive to caffeine so I backed off of that and found the high b6 supplements and foods.  I learned several other things that took the guesswork about what is BEST for me.  I began to focus on nootropics rather than caffeine for energy with fabulous results. 
• Andy Frisella and 75HARD - Of the many personal development things I consume, must highlight this one.  I found something struck me with Andy Frisella.  He struggles with depression, built a billion + company on the same beliefs I hold regarding business and he firmly believes investing in being his best mentally and physically is the foundation for his best life, personally and professionally.  I 100% believe this, as its been 100% true for me.  If you are at the beginning of your healing, I want to share that I modified his 75hard parameters and committed to the concept. Today, Im still using the concept and its become the lifestyle that supports me especially since there is a movement, a podcast and since I started he has come out with a book.
• High fiber diet (and water).  Learning that I NEED carbohydrates and seek them because of the fatigue... forced me to shift my thinking.  Partnering wit a nutritionist and using my own decades of studying nutrition, I knew continuing to lower them to try to reduce the weight on my frame was a lost cause. I shifted from focusing on protein (which levels blood sugar and therefore appetite and mood) to focusing on fiber so that I have the carbohydrates for energy and also the same effects of level blood sugar, and therefore appetite and mood that higher fiber diets provide.  Its been a huge reason the weight is melting off - making the movement better, the pain even less, and its a positive spiral up rather than down!
• Volunteering.  I will say that I really had to dig deep to keep up with 2 service commitments each week since I started.  If this resonates with you, I encourage you to do SOMETHING.  It has been hard to be around people and not be myself AT! ALL! But to stay engaged and feel great about helping someone else besides focusing on myself I think is priceless.  Not always fun when you are not at your best, but priceless nonetheless.

This is the entirety of my strategy.  I take ZERO medicine, NSAIDS, muscle relaxers, chiropractic, physical therapy, etc.  And I just had my first massage in a long time.  Always beneficial, but not necessary for my daily functioning!  

In case you are looking for a framework for what the daily habits look like:

1. CBD - first thing every single day
2. Vitamins (b6!) and nootropics
3. Reading/setting/assessing goals, writing, enrichment, sometimes meditate (usually about 30 min - hour)
4. Water - over 1/2 gallon
5. Fiber over 35 grams
6. Daily workout (yoga, metabolic, 2 mile walk or if I dont do something designated 10,000 steps!)
7. Mark my habits on a calendar in plain view so I can see all my momentum and not get caught up in a missed day!

I am so glad to be sharing this and I really hope I hear from others who are struggling, or have struggled and found this helpful and can get back to life.  Email me anytime at annathetrainer@me.com with your story, or questions.

Onward and upward,
Anna

The plight of the small entrepreneur and soloprenuer

Are you a solorpreneur or small entrepreneur trying to to make your way and fulfill a dream?  If so, I say without hesitation...your courage is inspiring and your workload is tiring!

I have a heart for the soloprenuer or a partnership/married team because not only have I been and still AM you... I love the heart behind risking it all to change and better the lives of others through your work.  I also believe our country is built on your back...we are the small businesses that make the economies thrive.  What more motivation could I have to help than that!?

I believe the health and wellness entrepreneur/solopreneur will read this and think I am in their head, but if you own another type of business and this screams at you... this is for you, too!




Some things most people don't realize about what you do are:

1. You do it because your lives have been dramatically changed by health and wellness. What you provide is your passion because it completely changed your life and nothing will stop you from paying that forward to change the lives of others.
2. The burden on your shoulders is hefty. You are the content creator, copywriter, janitor, CEO, accountant, administrative assistant, staff hirer, firer, meeting holder, systems creator, and customer service representative. 
3. You are completely aware of the power of social media and therefore leveraging that to grow your business. You don't want somebody else without your heart and passion running your social media and it does add another thing on your plate.  Possible to pick what is priority and what is not because everything that happens in and around your business reflects on you and therefore it is all priority. That is a heavy burden to bear!

The issue Im seeing is that we are so passionate about the content and the product and service that we often don't separate that from the best message that would most reach the people we want to serve.   With everything else we have, we dont have the time to learn how to choose the best person for the job and we dont have the time to find out how to learn how to best do it for ourselves.

I observe wellness entrepreneurs and sole proprietorships just continuing to do the same thing maybe trying to just do more of the same thing and have a bigger presence but finding it overwhelming to have a better plan.  Often times there just isn't the space.

This is you, let's talk. I really love helping those on a mission to reach more people and simplify their lives by sharing what I have learned in the form of simple conversations in guidance that can help you come up with a plan that increases your impact while reducing your workload.

All the best!
Anna

Clearer than ever

The most important thing is a big thank you.  Big thank you to anyone who has read along as I posted this story in parts (also consolidated in the next post here) on my Facebook entrepreneurial encouragement page @uncommonoptimism, that sometimes doubles as my writing page.

I have received texts, DMs, comments and calls and I have heard a resonating theme.  Their pain was deeper than they shared and so they related.  And did not feel so alone.  Mission Accomplished.

The secondary mission was accomplished as well.  For me, writing this narrative was 100% necessary.  It was my mind's way of making sense of what had happened and giving it a permanent place, so that I could actually leave it behind me, begin writing and processing the new and fresh ideas for life.  

Sometimes I minimize my pain and want to hide it and then I do things like this that hang it out for the world to see.  For some reason the hiding it makes it unbearable, even tho I so desperately want to act as if its not there.  And sometimes I do.  This was my way of owning it.  Of acknowledging it. 

Its been almost 2 years since Dad died.  And I never thought I'd say this but I am experiencing massive excitement for the future. Finding JOY was my focus for 2019 but it was intermittent.  Now the joy is the norm.  And with that joy comes excitement and ideas for me, for our family, for work, for my life and a huge hope for the future.  In many ways I am actually better.  

I have left people pleasing and striving ambition behind. I see now those things are not only unhealthy, but dependent on me being a certain way and I can't control that.  I am human.  I appreciate those who didn't need me to be a certain way (upbeat! motivating! adding value! productive! happy!) in order to see value in me and stay just as connected while I walked the darkest time in my entire life as they were prior to it.  Some people supported me more!  I endeavor to be like those people.  

In addition to rebuilding my physical self and having PRs nearly every week (YAY!!!!), I am reading and soaking up every moment of joy with my family and our future plans.  I have a totally different perspective on the work - life balance.  Im clearer than ever on what I want and what I don't want.  All of it is a gift.  I can't say (and I wont say to sound like it puts a nice bow on the story) that any of it was worth losing Dad.  But I can say there is, after all, some good things that have come to me from it.  

I also have some great content swirling in my head for anyone who finds value as far as sales and entrepreneurship.  I have business improvement systems I want to try for my own business.   All of it exciting and a something I feel lucky to have the chance to do: create and serve and experiment, all a huge challenge, for a living.  

The next chapter will prove to be nothing short of interesting. 

Thanks to all who are here for joining me on this ride!

I expect things to only get better from here. 

oxoxoxo,

Anna

PS:  Along this journey, I tried lots and LOTS of things to get out of pain, lose weight, improve my mental health, regain clarity and more.  Comment on FB or IG (whatever lead you here) if you'd be interested in that summary of products and processes that worked for me.

PPS: 

Here is the last picture I took with dad on our weekly jaunt here and there. This was 2 years ago this month. He was suddenly gone about a month later. I am committed to honoring him (and Mom) in this next chapter!  WATCH OUT!

Writing a Chapter in my Book (Parts 1-4)

Why is going 3 miles (not even running them consecutively) a momentous occasion? And why wouldn't you at least filter your picture to mark the occasion?

Because the story matters so much more than the picture, or the miles for that matter.
After training for 18 months what most people train or 16 WEEKS, I competed in my first and last fitness competition. I loved every single painful, steady, disciplined, joyful, erratic, extreme, costly, time consuming, inconvenient second and dollar spent. When it was over, I felt the need to recover and but thought I'd rev back up and do it again. I'd hit my competition date 2 weeks early so I wasn't lean enough but I was in the shape of my life. Every waking second was pretty much enjoyable in that kind of shape.

Deep down I knew tho, that I definitely had to do more than most, rise above way higher and commit way longer to get in the same shape others achieved in weeks. Otherwise it would not have taken me months to do what should have taken me weeks, including two highly capable and seasoned coaches. But the no quit in me kept going.

I dieted and trained for nearly 2 years straight. I have since had a genetic test and learned that I am genetically not geared to burn fat or have strong cardio vascular system and that I am very sensitive to carbohydrates deficient in vitamins causing lethargy, so I seek carbs for energy and then store them because I don't metabolize them. Exercise is not that effective either according to the test, I am the least able to burn fat on the range of abilities offered. Add to that I am not very affected by caffeine so trying to supplement with caffeine for energy leads to over-caffeinating and bad for my adrenal system.

The test proved that I am genetically predisposed to be tired and resist low body fat.
Leave it to me to elect to work against all of that and refuse to quit! I have to laugh at the stubbornness. It never occurred to me - or maybe it did- that it would damage my metabolism from forcing the low body fat and dieting and training for so long would and would hurl me into an uncontrollable sadness and lethargy that my physiology demanded. I would not have stopped because I dont believe that just because something is hard doesn't mean you should not do it.

Alas ...Your body's physiological needs cannot be denied. I am proof if you need it! I forced a miracle, but I paid for it.

Add to that unintended consequence of chasing that dream of competing, that very same year... I sold my gym... my life's passion (aside from my family) that I sketched everything from the signs on the wall to the content of the newsletters and mission on a commuter bus to my "real job" as an economist for the federal government. It came to life and was a dream come true. I gained so much I never expected and learned more than I ever bargained for. But, I sold it the same year I competed and it was the right thing to do. I'd grown weary and let burnout steal my passion and therefore it wasn't being done how I would want so I needed to step away and yet, I missed it dearly.

I missed the people. I loved the people big.

I stayed awake nights thinking of better ways to serve them.

It was like a fairly tale to me in many ways. I loved the drive of the mission to help people in a new way. With truth, with accountability, and with discipline. It was like a self-leadership factory. I would pinch myself at times wondering if it was real life. I love to encourage like I love to breathe after being underwater.
Owning that gym showed me that people just want the truth and they will work hard for their goals if you just expect the best from them and refuse to lie to them to make a dollar. I am proud of how I lead, the message and culture we built. and the lives that are forever changed as a result. Despite my mistakes and learning along the way, I am so proud of the decade of good work there.

It was a dream in every way except as a wife and mom who wanted to be present with my family, a total dream come true. So I made the tough call. And stepped away.
It freed up a huge section of mental worry, some time, and was a good financial move for us. I had also just accomplished a lifelong dream of competing and was pretty proud of the effort that took. Should have been good times right? So, what could have possibly gone wrong?

The perfect storm of post - competition weight gain and depression could not be stopped. I had no idea that adding to that storm, the loss of something so dear, frequently experienced by retirees who do not quickly find something else to do, would only compound the problem and start a cascading spiral down.
So what did I do? I did what I would have coached any other person (and have coached many who have come to me over the years) to do.

Over the next year I committed to reading, personal development, movement, and everything I could think of to find myself again. It was like pushing a boulder up the mountain.

I made progress, but no momentum.
In fact, I spiraled so hard, my consistent efforts felt futile. Since I never quit, they probably kept me from going all the way off the deep end. But, the spiral still continued. And a few "up" blips were no match for the monster of "retiring" and the often written about shambles that competing can make your life. I had been hit by the old 1-2 punch.
But you know what they say...

"Everybody has a plan till they get punched in the face"

To be Continued .....

I'd been punched twice. Only problem is it was a sucker punch by a ghost. I could not see the enemy and I did not know I was hit. I was just there, with all these new problems, desperately looking for a way out.


The third punch was this weird onset of an old back pain injury that now was pain in my feet, my neck and generally all over that made it hard to do things like grocery shop, stand in line, really daily life became a physical challenge. And let me tell you, I had no idea why. Again, I was just there, trying to fight through it. There was no information to help me unravel the why of it all, I just wanted to change it.


I can only write this by understanding what happened looking back. Never while I was in this "storm" did I have any clarity.


The reason I think the first 2 punches really caused the third is this. Can you guess what chronic pain causes? Depression and Anxiety. Did you know depression manifests itself in pain?? They were reinforcing and strengthening each other. The extra weight on my frame wasn't helping the pain, the lethargy or the mental state. And those 3 all contribute to unwanted weight. And don’t forget my genetics.

Deep down I kept thinking, "if I could just get in shape"...see, I have this deep belief that no matter who you are, many of your problems, even many you don't even acknowledge or think are related to your fitness, can be solved through the process of getting in shape. And this fact nagged me to death. Hope of getting in shape was slowly dying. And when hope dies, as it does with problems you and no one you know, knows how to solve, you really are stuck.


So here I am not understanding why or what and yet, this is where I began the journey of what people in chronic pain face. I can tell you that it is actually consuming. And I can tell you I thought it was NEVER happen to me. I mean, my whole world revolves around being fit!!!! Are you kidding me???


By the way, I consulted doctors for the depression I had enough wherewithal to identify, and for the physical problem I felt they had to be able to solve. Sadly, my therapy experience was comical, the medication tho was helpful and I am glad I did that for a time I will say! More on that but I will save that for another day.
And for the pain and what I learned was degenerative disc disease and “several herniated disks throughout the spine” according to the report, the medical community wanted to operate or medicate. Not my jam.

So, you are in pain just being awake (and asleep) but you don't want to complain but you are in awe most of the time that this is now your life! My whole life felt like one big HUH?

I was in a daze.


Like many reading this, I am not a fan of asking for help and remember, no one had any answers anyway. I felt like everyone I knew was just as tired of me not being me as I was. I was so disappointed that I couldn’t be my old self for them, and I missed being me. I was just so ashamed and felt hopeless. Yet I pushed myself. I did not know how to overcome or what to do, I just pushed. And while in many ways things got better… the real challenge had not even happened yet. There was unthinkable challenge ahead.
To be continued …

Looking back, I know now that I simply DID NOT UNDERSTAND what was happening. That is called being confused I have now learned


Sidenote #12,567: See, my Mama raised me. We were best of friends and I adored her. We spent all our time together, us against the world.

Right after I was married, we found her alone in her home, unresponsive, having had a seizure and with a brain tumor, and upon getting her to the hospital, we were told she had given 6 months to live. In those 6 months, she became less and less of herself. Meanwhile, I moved in with her, I became her caretaker, handled her affairs, ran her household and was with her with she died. I was 27.

It was when walking that path I realized that who you THINK you are is nowhere near what you are capable of. Something amazing rises up in you when life throws you a life changing challenge and it is an eye opening experience. Even in my massive grief, I was fascinated by that.


Therefore, I stepped away from that lucrative and promising career and set out to open my old gym I told you about and change the world on my own. My world changed so much and I learned that there is a huge wake up call in the gift of a loss that teaches you how short and rare life is.

I learned in that time that I can do ANYTHING, and overcome ANYTHING. And I believe I also decided you can too…EVERYONE can do what they desire. I set out to share the gift I had been given. To share the courage I found in (what I thought was) the biggest loss of my life.

So back to the story. Now you know the fall out from selling the gym and how Mom was the whole reason I opened it. She was even in the logo. She was in every story I told people about opening the gym and she was the drive to stay up all night each week just to catch up on paperwork. I found incredible strength in knowing tomorrow is not guaranteed and what I was doing was giving other people THEIR lives as well.

This fueled my passion to….

To be continued...

That great loss fueled my passion to learn how to be my best and teach that to others.

I became a student with the intention of mastering all things self-development, fitness, leadership and mindset. I believed in the richness of life and in the ability of one to enrich their own life beyond their wildest dreams. Those are the things I loved teaching and writing about to benefit our clients, and team…and anyone I could touch in the fitness community.

I also felt strongly about doing my dead level best to hold myself to the standards I learned about and, right or wrong, expected the same from others.
In that season, I was completely unaccustomed to feeling confused, out of control, in a daze, or unable to overcome a challenge.

Naturally, I never thought I’d lead a direct sales team and grow a business, but turns out leading volunteers who want to influence others to better their health is the perfect place for someone with my set of passions for leadership, personal development, encouragement and fitness. So after a decade of gym ownership, I found I was able to use those skills to impact exponentially more people for their good. It also allowed me to have a very balanced family life and a big impact on our family financially.
But, here is the big BUT. This is where things turn and I lose all the fire and passion I just shared and built up to writing this.

There I was with the 1-2-3 punch and loving the freedom I had, and diving into my relationship with my dad and loving our mutual support that we had never enjoyed. Turns out my Dad and I are alot alike. While it was circumstances that lead me to embrace a love for being one’s best, it was Dad who had modeled it in his fitness and professional life every day for me since i was born. It was crazy how much two people who spent years being polarizing forces, fighting each other and this unexplainable reason we could not find common ground… found out how much we really respected and liked each other.
I am hard headed. He is hard headed. That was oil and water for decades. We showed up for each other, and that was evidence of the deep love that was there, but there was a pea in the mattress of the relationship until Mom died and we began to build a new one piece by piece, year by year.

And honestly you give 2 hard headed people something to fight against together…(his health and my 1-2-3 punch) and you get a bond that is unexplainable! Fighting TOGETHER against a common enemy rather than with each other. Who would have ever guessed.

Despite that boulder I was pushing, enjoying Dad was my saving grace. It was the one time in the day that I did not feel so defeated. He was my brightest spot. I so loved being able to share a struggle and to have him show up for me and be able to do the same. I was in the mindset of thinking that if I never got my professional or fitness mojo back, I was really looking forward to spending the next 20 years with my Dad. And that was where my little flickers of hope were coming from.

Remember I said there was significant loss of hope? Knowing I could just ride out the next few decades with Dad were a bright spot of hope for me. I could see that as a future I wanted since the one I worked so hard to create was slipping away.
It is what inspired me to volunteer and keep pushing myself to be around others, even if I was in debilitating pain, or feeling super apathetic (or both). Watching him pursue answers for his health issues was exactly how he had always taken care of the priorities in his life. It was honorable and inspiring and just really what we all aspire to be like. I found so much strength in that.

This was providing the strength and hope that I was beginning to see as my new normal. And, thanks to him, I was no longer hopeless.
Luckily, Dad was able to help take care of me. Really for the first time in our relationship, he was able to tend to me. I only saw him on holidays and summers, so things like my car accidents and surgeries were on my Mom to care for. It was great to lean on him finally and he loved getting to do it as well.

Yoga was too "extreme"... even getting in the floor would activate a new spasm and cost me days on the couch or in the bed.

I gingerly made my way though my days praying nothing would make the chronic pain worse or yet make it spasm and land me back on the couch.

I started with 7 minute workouts, that I had to modify.

I'll never forget getting through one without any threat of spasm. I may have a numb leg for a whole day but I was overjoyed with every workout.

I started walking our dogs about a mile each day.

I had lost stamina for a real day's activities. Once able to workout an hour or 2, work on my feet for 9 hours straight and still have energy left, I was in a whole new world. Around this time I joined my local Rotary Club and the only thing I did was go to those each week and it would exhaust me. The stamina for daily living had left me. And in those meetings my back would be screaming and I would be trying to chat and get to know people. I was so overweight and uncomfortable in my own skin, but I forged ahead.
The only saving grace besides my husband, daughter and Dad, was that I had build a business that paid for our lifestyle and was able to manage it with about 10-15 hours week and that was a blessing.

As I slowly began my recovery and the spasms were farther and farther between, my stamina was building, I was able to walk more, actually get in the floor to do yoga, and even a few squats, my mental state was holding at fair to partly cloudy with some sunny days. Not bad as you can imagine but I still desperately missed the state of joy and drive I used to live in.

What happened next is where the tools I had used in my life and the hope and strength I was drawing, were about to be rendered useless.

To be continued .....